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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

It's Time To Change Hockey's Culture


If many Canadians consider hockey to be their biggest and most boisterous source of pride, then the stubborn “man’s game” culture that surrounds it may be the source of their biggest shame.

Flash back a few months to the now infamous collision between Washington Capitals forward David Steckel and Pittsburgh Penguins forward Sidney Crosby, the latter of whom was knocked senseless after a crushing mid-ice blow to the head. Crosby never saw the sharp shoulder of Steckel coming, and Steckel was just focused on getting back into the flow of play. After much debate amongst fans and media, the Steckel hit was mostly dubbed as an unfortunate, but accidental incident. Crosby came back to finish the game, and would play the next one too, before doctors finally figured out something wasn’t quite right.
Flash forward a few weeks to a game between the Toronto Maple Leafs and Boston Bruins, where Leafs forward Mikhail Grabovski suffers a pair of crushing cranial blows after getting plastered into the boards by hulking Bruins defenceman Zdeno Chara. After the second hit, Grabovski plummets to the ice in a heap, pauses before attempting to push himself back up, then staggers back down again. Although Grabovski is clearly disoriented, the Leafs make the decision to keep him in the game. Later, there’s a shot of Grabovski using smelling salts on the bench, trying to sniff his way back to coherence. The image elucidates a disturbing reality about the never-say-die attitude of the sport.
Too often, a player’s decision to stay in the game after suffering a nauseating hit or blow to the head is backed up by the rah-rah chorus of media and fan voices who use descriptors like “courage” and “guts” in support of the player. This language is merely one part of a larger macho discourse that trumpets strength over weakness and hard-shell resiliency over perceived feminine vulnerability. Analyst Mike Milbury asserted that the removal of fighting would result in the “pansification” of the game, and called fellow analyst Pierre McGuire a “soccer mom” for his stance on no-tolerance headshots. McGuire is loud, but Milbury is louder, and too often the ones promoting change and growth in the game are drowned out by those who like things just as they are, thank you very much.
A journey into the bowels of the Internet – the hockey forums – reveals just how far this vitriolic and often misogynistic discourse trickles down.
“Nothing like a crushing check on Cindy Crosby!!” says one user on the YouTube comments section. “Hope he remembered to re-apply the mascara he lost as he went crying to his trainer.”
What the user fails to comprehend is that Crosby, of course, is not a straw dummy there to withstand the anonymous slings and arrows of juvenile name-calling. He is a human being, and when he gets nailed by a 20-miles-per-hour freight train, he’s going to feel it just like you or I would. I’m not sure if the morning after his concussion diagnosis, Crosby proceeded to his vanity table and applied his daily quotient of mascara. He may have, however, experienced the scary collapse of tunnel vision, saw the world unnaturally tilt sideways and felt waves of nausea just by taking a step out of bed.
Move back to the day of the Capitals-Penguins game. Crosby returns to the third period, and even plays the next game – the doctors claim to find nothing wrong and he is, as the patriotic hockey mantra goes, a “good Canadian boy.” This is all before the oh-wait moment, where the neuropsychologists reexamine Crosby’s brain and discover something they hadn’t previously. Before you know it, the game’s best player is out for two months and counting.
The NHL has the second-highest rate of concussions next to the National Football League, where, unlike in hockey, head-to-head encounters are typical and expected of the sport -- just a "part of the game." A CBC report found that the number of NHL concussions remains unchanged from last year’s totals, despite the new Rule 48 banning all blindside hits to the head. More disturbingly, The New York Times reported an average of 75 concussions per season in the NHL, a statistic believed to be “vastly underreported.” Former pugilists like Rob Ray, who sustained around 10-12 concussions during his career, say that enforcers do not report their concussions because they know they are “too easy to replace.” In other words, if you're a so-called wimp and can’t handle the hurt, pack up your bags. There are 10 others waiting to take your place.
All of this has made one thing painfully clear: the game is in want of a cultural change, and badly.
Changing the entire culture of a 100-year old game is not done easily. In fact, it may be one of the hardest jobs commissioner Gary Bettman will ever have to face, over headaches such as the two season-ending lockouts and the bout of financially struggling markets in the Southeast. He will have to confront a solid contingent of folks who will shout about the alleged destruction of their beloved game. He will have to deal with financial losses from angry fans who will fly to other sports that can give them what they want.
But the game is in a state of near-emergency, and the protesting voices are getting louder. One voice in particular, Keith Primeau’s, is speaking up about the four concussions he sustained before his NHL career was prematurely ended. Primeau and others have designed a program called “Play it Cool” whose goal is to educate minor hockey leaguers on proper attitude towards the game.
"There were choices that I made [to play through concussions] and part of that is because I believed that was the right mentality," he tells TSN. "The design behind 'Play it Cool' is to try and change that cultural mindset. You can still be courageous and you can still be a competitor and you can still enjoy the game, but with less risk.
"It's a new form of courage."
[Crosby photo: NY Daily News]
[Primeau photo: Finding Dulcinea]
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Sunday, January 9, 2011

Picture of the Day: Chris Pronger Scares Little Girls

And the legacy of Chris Pronger grows.

I love this photo because Pronger's expression is so obviously in jest, yet if I were the little girl I'd still be trembling in my booties at the sight of the 6' 6", 220 pound man snarling at me in wolf-like menace, threatened by the mere suggestion of my encroaching on his territory. Yeah.

I also like this photo because it's a split second that could have easily been lost if not for the photographer's quick trigger finger. The NHL is in perpetual need of personality. This is picture perfect.

[Photo: Clearwaters65]
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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Best of Hockey 2010

It’s almost impossible to cover everything from hockey 2010 without completely losing all of your short 21st century attention spans. I mean, I’d add it in for the sake of completeness, but really, who wants to read the words “Jim Balsillie” and “Phoenix Coyotes” in a sentence ever again? Fank q, but no fank q. So without further ado, here are my top favourite hockey stories, noteworthy news items, and moments of the year 2010. Be prepared for lots of multi-media masturbation. If your computer can’t handle it, I say, get a new one.

The year of the Meme: 90% of the users on Twitter are twits. But the other 10% usually have some things to say that are pretty interesting. Puck Daddy blog editor Greg Wyshynski, the king of the Internet hockey realm, and Sean McIndoe of Down Goes Brown both helped to create the culture of the hockey meme in 2010 - here is some of their best work:

  • Shane Doan face: Photoshop enthusiasts singled out the Shane Doan face as a target probably because Doan had on the expression of a manic serial killer on a murdering spree high. Puck Daddy threw a Reader Art Contest and received some gut-splitting submissions. Make sure to check them out here.

  • Sidney Crosby face: Similar to the DoanFace Gallery, but with less relocation jabs and more references to gladiators, monsters, and Ovechkin. It’s brilliant fun. Please see it here.

The Twitter hashtag

  • #danellisproblems: One of the Internet’s finest and most long-lasting hockey memes. Unfortunately for Dan Ellis, it will probably hound him for the rest of his NHL career. You probably already know the story by now, and if not you can find it here. If anything, the meme is a good lesson to sports athletes to be careful of what they say online, because surprisingly not everyone wants to hear millionaires complain about the creases in their white napkins or the lack of good butlers.
  • #bettmansweater

The #bettmansweater meme was the result of a bit of encouragement from Down Goes Brown and the compliance of a very competent and very willing Internet. Laughter and ridicule arose after CBC played an old clip of Gary Bettman conversing with Brian Burke in what appeared to be the ugliest sweater known to mankind. Afterwards, Twitter mercilessly erupted in a plethora of screenshots and snarky one-liners aimed at the often disparaged NHL commissioner. Some of the better ones from the night:

Burke immediately knew he had to convince Bettman to only expand to short-sleeve weather markets. #BettmanSweater

Burke was stunned. Bettman had called his tie raise, and gone all-in with a sweater. #BettmanSweater

What has four eyes, two-and-a-half hair styles, one hockey brain and no first round draft picks? #BettmanSweater

That Komisarek pass was #BettmanSweater ugly.

  • The Jagr meme: The “What, no Jagr?” meme was spawned after Puck Daddy released their “Mount Puckmore” feature, in which they picked four of each franchise’s all time top players and photoshopped their heads in the places of Mount Rushmore’s original inhabitants. A swarm of outraged and astonished readers attacked the New York Rangers’ Puckmore when it decided to include Jaromir Jagr while leaving off arguably more deserving players, such as Mike Richter or Adam Graves. Afterwards, readers would arbitrarily comment on subsequent Mount Puckmore articles with a “What no, Jagr?” even if he hadn’t played for the team in question, sparking the meme. The entire thing was hilarious and surprisingly enduring, inspiring a blog by the same name as well as a Twitter account.

The Golden Goal: What can I say about “The Goal” that hasn’t already been said? I can only express what it meant to me, personally. I kept telling myself before the game started that it was okay if Canada lost because we had had a wonderful run, beaten down Russian, fueled the nation with plenty of drama. I gave myself logical reasons for failure, but looking back, they made no sense at all. This was because there was only one ending that truly made sense for me, for the fans, for the nation – and that was hockey gold. When Sidney Crosby potted the immortal tally I (apparently) screamed, ran into a corner of the room, jumped up and down yelling “CROSBY, CROSBY, CROSBY,” rolled on the ground, took a quick moment to rub it in my Russian friend’s face, leaped onto the innocents sitting on the couch and writhed with glee. And I’ll admit, as a Crosby fan, I was more than a little pleased that he had taken the spotlight on the biggest sporting stage possible. James Duthie put it beautifully: “[Crosby] was born to score that goal.” Sidney deserved it, his teammates deserved it and Canada, through all our four years of sweating and headaches and wringing of wrists, deserved it. It was the “Henderson scores for Canada!” moment of our generation and it is something I will never, ever forget.

However, the Olympics weren’t all about Canada. I think. Some other big stories included the Swedes early exit, Slovakia’s miracle run, the colossal defeat of Alexander Ovechkin and the powerhouse Russians, and Jaromir Jagr’s triumphant if transitory return to spotlight. Ovechkin’s hit on Jagr was one of the most bone-crushing shoulder-to-shoulder blows I have ever seen, further magnified because it resulted in a turnover and a huge Evgeni Malkin goal that put the Russians up by two early into the third.


Playoffs? PLAYOFFS?: The 2010 Stanley Cup playoffs contained a lot of special moments – the monumental 0-3 series comeback by the Philadelphia Flyers over the Boston Bruins, the joyride of Jaroslav Halak and the Montreal Canadiens, the end of the 49-year Cup drought in Chicago. My favourite moments, however, involved the simpler things. And by simple, I mean Patrick Kane’s classic mullet, rated Gretzkian in greatness, Crosbian in greasiness.

Chris Pronger also provided a welcome infusion of personality with his puck stealing skills and general media snarkiness. I’m probably one of a very small minority, but Pronger is among my favourite players in the League – I love his leadership, his toughness, his skill. Also, I like mean people.


WAFFLEROFL: Making fun of the Toronto Maple Leafs has been a time-honoured tradition among Canadians for decades, but one disgruntled Leafs fan took it to a whole new level when he decided to show his frustration in the most obscure way he could: waffles on the ice. The "Eggo Bomber," who also keeps a Twitter, has been lauded and lambasted by fans and media alike, but none can doubt his audacity or his inevitable future prosecution.

For now, the Waffle Cup may be as close to the actual Cup as the Leafs are going to get. So they might as well savour it. Nom nom nom.

You Want Magic, You Want Money?: Jordan Eberle was already a minor Canadian celebrity for the ones who followed the World Junior Hockey Championship. For the few and the clueless who hadn’t been watching, Eberle’s first ever NHL goal was one of the top "stand-up and look-at-me" moments of the year. If you didn’t know about the kid then, you did after this.

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Sunday, December 12, 2010

Video: Alexander Ovechkin Fights Brandon Dubinsky

I'm not sure if you can call this the first National Hockey League "fight" that Ovechkin has ever been in - he got into a tussle with Mike Richards and was pushed around by Paul Gaustad - but it is the first time he's ever legitimately squared up with another player with the intention of throwing 'em, and then actually going through with it. No Matt Bradley to stop you this time, Ovie.

Early tweets are arguing that Ovechkin lost the fight, but I don't think that matters as much as what the action represented. Ovechkin has been in a desperate struggle to score points, and the Capitals have lost two in a row and are en route to their third straight loss tonight against the New York Rangers. Good for Ovie for standing up for his players and his team. That's the diligent work of a captain.



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Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Video: Evgeni Malkin is Very Russian and We Love Him For It

Okay, this is by far the funniest unintentionally funny "commercial" that I've seen in a while.

Foreigners you know...gotta love 'em.



ANOZER DAY AT ZEE OFFIZZ!
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Thursday, December 2, 2010

Picture of the Day: The Best of the Dany Heatley and Lebron James Fan Signs

It wasn't the best of days for Dany Heatley and Lebron James, although the rest of the sporting world enjoyed the happy cosmological circumstances that, on the very same night, returned these two hated ex-players to their hostile ex-cities. Here are a few of the best - and most scathing - fan-made signs and pictures.

Charming.

Via Dan O'Toole: Really quite brilliant.

Via CBS, where you can find a lot more Lebron James hater-phernalia.



Here's a nice video of Sens fans giving Heatley a warm welcome.


Via CBC: Sharks fan stickin' it to 'em good.

The Ottawa Sun's front page, which was suuuuper classy. Hearkens back to the good old classics - Chicago Tribune anyone?

Sometimes I am happy there are people in the world.

Alright, in the words of all the Senators and Cavaliers fans tonight: "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
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Monday, November 29, 2010

Video: Dustin Brown Dancing to Children's Music and it's Great


Probably the best thing I've seen ever.

P.S. it's also adorable.


Dancin' Dustin Brown from Greg Wyshynski on Vimeo.

[Photo: Celebs Gather]
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Video: New York Islanders fan doesn't like the New York Islanders


Hate for the Islanders > $600. And yes, I had to use a calculator for that.



[Photo: Bleacher Report]
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Picture of the Day: Mark Messier Apparently Anonymous in Canada


Via Puck Daddy:

There was an article on the National Post today with a rather amusing Canadian faux pas - read the picture's caption.

SO. GOOD.

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Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Sidney Crosby Fights Matt Niskanen And It's Awesome


Nothing I like better than superstars who are willing to drop the gloves every now and then, especially when it's not all bear hugs and limp-wristers. Crosby has had a few other fights in his NHL career before, but never one won so cleanly as it was in tonight's tilt against the Dallas Stars' Matt Niskanen.

Also, it was awesome. Crosby beat him like a rag doll. Can we all agree on that?



[Picture: Pittsburgh Post]
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