[Duncan's Teeth is a round-up of the seven most interesting and intriguing hockey links of the day. Named in honour of Duncan Keith and the late seven teeth he lost in the playoffs on that fateful day of Sunday, May 23rd, 2010. May the chicklets rest in peace.]
Matt Duchene scores an orgasmic, Datsyukian-like goal during the shootout of a Colorado Avalanche Intersquad game. Guuhhhamazing. (BTW, picture above = most awkward thing ever? His pants are feeling the strain...) [Puck Daddy]
The New York Islanders have signed their fifth overall pick in the 2010 Draft, Nino Niederreiter, to a three-year entry level contract. So...jealous... [NHL] In the spirit of disclosing all things Patrick Kane, here's his latest interview with the Globe and Mail's Eric Duhatschek. It's all about money, cars, partying, and bitches. Or not. [Globe and Mail] Is he healthy or is he injured? Beware hockey poolies - Marc Savard, still suffering from post-concussion symptoms, could be out for the entire season. [NESN] Calm down Canucks fans...Cody Hodgson is healthy and ready to rumble! Sort of. [Vancouver Sun] For all you video game nerdos out there who bought NHL 11 at 12:01am on the day of its release, here's a review from The Hockey News proclaiming it the "best hockey game for the series so far." Ooooo. Geek out! [THN] Hey! For the huuuge amount of lady readers I have (at least two), here's a hilarious hockey site dedicated to all the "passionate female fans" who need to get their eye candy fix on. [HFTL]
I know it sounds bad. How could Patrick Kane - sleazy, hairless, unable-to-sacrifice-20-cents Patrick Kane -become the next emblem of the NHL? At first, there doesn’t seem to be room in the league between the Sidney Crosby-Alexander Ovechkin rivalry and the constant bombardment of Washington-Pittsburgh merchandise. At most, Kane’s role is secondary, and further reduced to background noise next to the League's more marketable stars.
But I have a proposition to make: Patrick Kane, the next new face of the NHL.
Kane, age 21, has emerged as the unlikely poster boy for Generation Y. Unlike his fellow linemate Jonathan Toews, Kane doesn't shy away from flaunting his youth and enthusiasm. He isn’t afraid to party and shuffle down a couple beers while he’s at it. And in an instant, Kane can shed the playfulness and display a fire and drive akin to that of a Stanley Cup champion. [Sidenote: What represents our generation more than Twi-hards? Patrick Kane is one of them...which is hilarious, we can all agree, but endearing, too.] Unlike Crosby, who has been more or less shackled to the league's demands of propriety, Kane is the league's most relatable – and most human – player, whose god-like talents are balanced by a down-to-earth disposition.
We all know by now the infamous cab driver incident, and by no means do I intend to suggest these actions are excusable. But as the maxim goes, no one is perfect, and I think it’s safe to dismiss his mistake as a product of youth, not as a flaw in personality. I don’t believe Kane is the “douchebag” some people let him out to be. Reading up on his recent outings with the Stanley Cup suggests his maturation is coming on quickly.
With a league that is so stilted in personality – half of the players are your typical “good Canadian boys” who say and do all the right things (although it beats players who shoot themselves in the legs at clubs), Kane represents the all-American face the league should endorse if it wants to further attract markets down South. He might not appeal to all demographics, but for young people just beginning to dig their fingers into hockey, Kane would be an excellent ambassador of the game. He represents prodigious skill, talent, and youth unfettered by regulation. Let Crosby and Ovechkin be the landmarks of this era – but give Patrick Kane and others like him the chance to shine too.
Here's a video of Patrick Kane chugging champagne, then throwing a nerf ball, then drinking a beer, then drinking from the Cup, then breaking it down, then drinking more beer, then saying things like this:
"I tell ya one thing, I'm going to try to keep my shirt on all summer, just for you guys."
Dan Boyle’s own goal in Game 3 against the Colorado Avalanche will forever be solidified in the annals of SportsCentre’s Not Top Ten Plays, but it was the call from Av’s radio play-by-play man Marc Moser that was the real highlight of the night. Favourite moment: “I THINK THE SAN JOSE SHARKS…JUST THREW IT INTO THEIR OWN NET!!! (voice breaks) THEY DIIIIYIIID!”
2. How the Mighty Fall Really Fast
One of the Montreal Canadiens’ victims in their improbable Cup run was the Washington Capitals, a team many were picking to go all the way. Alexander Ovechkin arguably has had one of the most miserable years in hockey. Russia was trounced 7-3 by the Canadians in the Olympics, the Capitals were eliminated early, and then at the World Hockey Championships, Ovechkin had a chance at redemption, but lost in a shocker to the Czech Republic.
3. Sid’s Tricks
First, a dazzling defensive play to sweep the puck away from the goal line, then at the other end of the ice, wheeling and dealing around Jason Spezza four dizzying times to set up the game-winner. These are two lasting images I will take away from these playoffs.
4. Montreal, and the Little Habitants That Could
The Montreal Canadiens’ remarkable run through the playoffs is one of those jaw-dropping times in life you just have to sit back and enjoy. On the back of goaltender Jaroslav Halak, the Canadiens put to rest Cup favourites Washington Capitals, then out-lasted the defending champs Pittsburgh Penguins, before finally subjecting to the Philadelphia Flyers who were as much of a Cinderella team as they were.
5. Cinderella II: Flyers Frenzy
If the Canadiens were the Cinderella team of the playoffs, then the Philadelphia Flyers were Cinderella’s doppelganger. We all know by now how the Flyers climbed out of a 0-3 series deficit against Boston, and how they gleefully repeated that feat in the final game of the series, just to screw with their fans. The 0-3 series comeback was only one of three in NHL history, and one of four in the major North America sports leagues.
6. Wheeee!
Two spectacular saves that were eerily similar stood out for me this post-season. Martin Brodeur and Robert Luongo were both down-and-out, but made swiping snatches to take away sure goals.
7. Cue Drowning and Sinking Metaphors
By now we’ve all learned to keep our expectations at a minimum when it comes to the San Jose Sharks in the playoffs, but for one fleeting moment I was convinced that the Sharks were, this time, for real. They reached the Western Conference Finals for only the second time in franchise history, and Joe Thornton was finally playing like he wasn't Joe Thornton. Unfortunately for the Sharks, they ran into the Chicago Blackhawks, a team that who was destined for greater things.
8. Too Many Too Many Men Calls
There were a ridonkulous amount of Too Many Men Calls in the post-season (final tally: 36), so much so that TSN started a TMM count, complete with cheesy block lettering and clown music.
Patrick Kane’s playoff mullet made the highlight reels almost as much as Vince Vaughn did (okay, we get it, he’s a Chicago Blackhawks fan, stop), and for a good reason. The hairdo spawned a phenomenon of merchandise as well as a healthy number of copycats.
Remember the kerfuffle over Scott Hartnell’s alleged biting of Kris Letang’s finger a year ago? Well, it happened again, this time involving another reputable Flyers player, Dan Carcillo. Only this time, he was the one accusing Marc Savard of munching a little too hard in Game 2 of the Bruins/Flyers series.
Chris Pronger provided some of the best sound bites of the playoffs. I know a lot of people hate him and want him to die of rabies, but I love him. He’s massive, intimidating and skilled, and I’ve heard many players around the League remark on how incredibly tough he is to play against. Also…kind of hot. No? Okay. My favourite quote from him this post-season: “I’m hurt…I’m day-to-day with hurt feelings.”
10. Stanley Cup Winner
So how'd my Cup pick turn out? FREAKING AWESOME, THAT'S HOW. It wasn't the bumpiest of rides to the Stanley Cup final for the Chicago Blackhawks - let's be honest, they out-classed the Predators and the Canucks, then demolished the San Jose Sharks - but it was a different story against the Philadelphia Flyers. The first four games were close and tightly-contested. Perhaps the turning point in the series was in game 5, when Joel Quenneville decided to split up his top line and force Peter Laviolette to mix and match Chris Pronger. Turns out, Pronger is only one large man who can't possibly contain three different players on three different lines. This was none more apparent than when Patrick Kane head-bobbed his way around Kimmo Timonen to score the biggest goal of his life.
Congratulations to the Chicago Blackhawks! A well-deserved Cup winner. Note to Patrick Kane: go shave that mullet and put it in a museum. That hair should never see the light of day again.
Earlier this afternoon, The Kurtenblog, a sports blog of The Province, tweeted about some photos they received from an unidentified source:
"The Chicago Blackhawks might be getting a memo from their PR guy pretty soon."
I clicked the link that accompanied the tweet, and ta da! A shirtless Patty Kane! Also contained were photos of John Madden sans garments and toting his "guns", as well Kris Versteeg looking rather shifty in sunglasses, all of which you can find right here.
Now. Are these real? A couple people are citing Photoshop as the culprit.
Patrick Kane has shown a propensity for not always thinking that clearly in the past, so the fact that he would so willingly pose for such a photo in the age of the Internet is not all that surprising. No major news outlets have reported about the photos yet, which leads me to believe that they're trying to confirm the pictures' authenticity. However, this is a blog, so I don't have to confirm shit! Yeah, eat me! I gave you a disclaimer though. Because I'm not going to lead you on. Because I care about you.
Update: Kurtenblog has posted another pic which, in my mind, confirms the album's validity. Check it out. Like they said, even the most expert of photoshoppers might find it difficult to alter reflections from a car roof...
In other news, did you know that if you take the "F" off of the Calgary Flames, they become the Calgary Lames? I actually decided to Google this and see if anyone else had thought of it (they had, obviously...others losers like me), and I found a couple of other good ones. How about the Nashville Sexual Predators? SNAPPY!
..actually, I lied, that was the only decent one. A sample of the others: the Ottawa Senatards, the Washington Crapitals, the Chicago Blackcocks, and the Buffalol Sabres.
The Loser Point is a hockey blog for all the junkies who love and worship the sport as much as I do. I have an irregular obsession for playoff mullets, Sami Salo’s peanuts, and Sidney Crosby’s two front teeth.
Matt Duchene scores an orgasmic, Datsyukian-like goal during the shootout of a Colorado Avalanche Intersquad game. Guuhhhamazing. (BTW, picture above = most awkward thing ever? His pants are feeling the strain...) [Puck Daddy]
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