The Loser Point

It's Time To Change Hockey's Culture

2011-03-08T22:47:00.000-08:00

If many Canadians consider hockey to be their biggest and most boisterous source of pride, then the stubborn “man’s game” culture that surrounds it may be the source of their biggest shame.

Flash back a few months to the now infamous collision between Washington Capitals forward David Steckel and Pittsburgh Penguins forward Sidney Crosby, the latter of whom was knocked senseless after a crushing mid-ice blow to the head. Crosby never saw the sharp shoulder of Steckel coming, and Steckel was just focused on getting back into the flow of play. After much debate amongst fans and media, the Steckel hit was mostly dubbed as an unfortunate, but accidental incident. Crosby came back to finish the game, and would play the next one too, before doctors finally figured out something wasn’t quite right.

Flash forward a few weeks to a game between the Toronto Maple Leafs and Boston Bruins, where Leafs forward Mikhail Grabovski suffers a pair of crushing cranial blows after getting plastered into the boards by hulking Bruins defenceman Zdeno Chara. After the second hit, Grabovski plummets to the ice in a heap, pauses before attempting to push himself back up, then staggers back down again. Although Grabovski is clearly disoriented, the Leafs make the decision to keep him in the game. Later, there’s a shot of Grabovski using smelling salts on the bench, trying to sniff his way back to coherence. The image elucidates a disturbing reality about the never-say-die attitude of the sport.

Too often, a player’s decision to stay in the game after suffering a nauseating hit or blow to the head is backed up by the rah-rah chorus of media and fan voices who use descriptors like “courage” and “guts” in support of the player. This language is merely one part of a larger macho discourse that trumpets strength over weakness and hard-shell resiliency over perceived feminine vulnerability. Analyst Mike Milbury asserted that the removal of fighting would result in the “pansification” of the game, and called fellow analyst Pierre McGuire a “soccer mom” for his stance on no-tolerance headshots. McGuire is loud, but Milbury is louder, and too often the ones promoting change and growth in the game are drowned out by those who like things just as they are, thank you very much.

A journey into the bowels of the Internet – the hockey forums – reveals just how far this vitriolic and often misogynistic discourse trickles down.

“Nothing like a crushing check on Cindy Crosby!!” says one user on the YouTube comments section. “Hope he remembered to re-apply the mascara he lost as he went crying to his trainer.”

What the user fails to comprehend is that Crosby, of course, is not a straw dummy there to withstand the anonymous slings and arrows of juvenile name-calling. He is a human being, and when he gets nailed by a 20-miles-per-hour freight train, he’s going to feel it just like you or I would. I’m not sure if the morning after his concussion diagnosis, Crosby proceeded to his vanity table and applied his daily quotient of mascara. He may have, however, experienced the scary collapse of tunnel vision, saw the world unnaturally tilt sideways and felt waves of nausea just by taking a step out of bed.

Move back to the day of the Capitals-Penguins game. Crosby returns to the third period, and even plays the next game – the doctors claim to find nothing wrong and he is, as the patriotic hockey mantra goes, a “good Canadian boy.” This is all before the oh-wait moment, where the neuropsychologists reexamine Crosby’s brain and discover something they hadn’t previously. Before you know it, the game’s best player is out for two months and counting.

The NHL has the second-highest rate of concussions next to the National Football League, where, unlike in hockey, head-to-head encounters are typical and expected of the sport -- just a "part of the game." A CBC report found that the number of NHL concussions remains unchanged from last year’s totals, despite the new Rule 48 banning all blindside hits to the head. More disturbingly, The New York Times reported an average of 75 concussions per season in the NHL, a statistic believed to be “vastly underreported.” Former pugilists like Rob Ray, who sustained around 10-12 concussions during his career, say that enforcers do not report their concussions because they know they are “too easy to replace.” In other words, if you're a so-called wimp and can’t handle the hurt, pack up your bags. There are 10 others waiting to take your place.

All of this has made one thing painfully clear: the game is in want of a cultural change, and badly.

Changing the entire culture of a 100-year old game is not done easily. In fact, it may be one of the hardest jobs commissioner Gary Bettman will ever have to face, over headaches such as the two season-ending lockouts and the bout of financially struggling markets in the Southeast. He will have to confront a solid contingent of folks who will shout about the alleged destruction of their beloved game. He will have to deal with financial losses from angry fans who will fly to other sports that can give them what they want.

But the game is in a state of near-emergency, and the protesting voices are getting louder. One voice in particular, Keith Primeau’s, is speaking up about the four concussions he sustained before his NHL career was prematurely ended. Primeau and others have designed a program called “Play it Cool” whose goal is to educate minor hockey leaguers on proper attitude towards the game.

"There were choices that I made [to play through concussions] and part of that is because I believed that was the right mentality," he tells TSN. "The design behind 'Play it Cool' is to try and change that cultural mindset. You can still be courageous and you can still be a competitor and you can still enjoy the game, but with less risk.

"It's a new form of courage."

[Crosby photo: NY Daily News]

[Primeau photo: Finding Dulcinea]

Picture of the Day: Chris Pronger Scares Little Girls

2011-01-09T13:59:00.000-08:00

And the legacy of Chris Pronger grows.

I love this photo because Pronger's expression is so obviously in jest, yet if I were the little girl I'd still be trembling in my booties at the sight of the 6' 6", 220 pound man snarling at me in wolf-like menace, threatened by the mere suggestion of my encroaching on his territory. Yeah.

I also like this photo because it's a split second that could have easily been lost if not for the photographer's quick trigger finger. The NHL is in perpetual need of personality. This is picture perfect.

[Photo: Clearwaters65]

The Best of Hockey 2010

2010-12-28T19:52:00.000-08:00

It’s almost impossible to cover everything from hockey 2010 without completely losing all of your short 21st century attention spans. I mean, I’d add it in for the sake of completeness, but really, who wants to read the words “Jim Balsillie” and “Phoenix Coyotes” in a sentence ever again? Fank q, but no fank q. So without further ado, here are my top favourite hockey stories, noteworthy news items, and moments of the year 2010. Be prepared for lots of multi-media masturbation. If your computer can’t handle it, I say, get a new one.

The year of the Meme: 90% of the users on Twitter are twits. But the other 10% usually have some things to say that are pretty interesting. Puck Daddy blog editor Greg Wyshynski, the king of the Internet hockey realm, and Sean McIndoe of Down Goes Brown both helped to create the culture of the hockey meme in 2010 - here is some of their best work:

Shane Doan face: Photoshop enthusiasts singled out the Shane Doan face as a target probably because Doan had on the expression of a manic serial killer on a murdering spree high. Puck Daddy threw a Reader Art Contest and received some gut-splitting submissions. Make sure to check them out here.

Sidney Crosby face: Similar to the DoanFace Gallery, but with less relocation jabs and more references to gladiators, monsters, and Ovechkin. It’s brilliant fun. Please see it here.

The Twitter hashtag

#danellisproblems: One of the Internet’s finest and most long-lasting hockey memes. Unfortunately for Dan Ellis, it will probably hound him for the rest of his NHL career. You probably already know the story by now, and if not you can find it here. If anything, the meme is a good lesson to sports athletes to be careful of what they say online, because surprisingly not everyone wants to hear millionaires complain about the creases in their white napkins or the lack of good butlers.

#bettmansweater

The #bettmansweater meme was the result of a bit of encouragement from Down Goes Brown and the compliance of a very competent and very willing Internet. Laughter and ridicule arose after CBC played an old clip of Gary Bettman conversing with Brian Burke in what appeared to be the ugliest sweater known to mankind. Afterwards, Twitter mercilessly erupted in a plethora of screenshots and snarky one-liners aimed at the often disparaged NHL commissioner. Some of the better ones from the night:

Burke immediately knew he had to convince Bettman to only expand to short-sleeve weather markets. #BettmanSweater

Burke was stunned. Bettman had called his tie raise, and gone all-in with a sweater. #BettmanSweater

What has four eyes, two-and-a-half hair styles, one hockey brain and no first round draft picks? #BettmanSweater

That Komisarek pass was #BettmanSweater ugly.

The Jagr meme: The “What, no Jagr?” meme was spawned after Puck Daddy released their “Mount Puckmore” feature, in which they picked four of each franchise’s all time top players and photoshopped their heads in the places of Mount Rushmore’s original inhabitants. A swarm of outraged and astonished readers attacked the New York Rangers’ Puckmore when it decided to include Jaromir Jagr while leaving off arguably more deserving players, such as Mike Richter or Adam Graves. Afterwards, readers would arbitrarily comment on subsequent Mount Puckmore articles with a “What no, Jagr?” even if he hadn’t played for the team in question, sparking the meme. The entire thing was hilarious and surprisingly enduring, inspiring a blog by the same name as well as a Twitter account.

The Golden Goal: What can I say about “The Goal” that hasn’t already been said? I can only express what it meant to me, personally. I kept telling myself before the game started that it was okay if Canada lost because we had had a wonderful run, beaten down Russian, fueled the nation with plenty of drama. I gave myself logical reasons for failure, but looking back, they made no sense at all. This was because there was only one ending that truly made sense for me, for the fans, for the nation – and that was hockey gold. When Sidney Crosby potted the immortal tally I (apparently) screamed, ran into a corner of the room, jumped up and down yelling “CROSBY, CROSBY, CROSBY,” rolled on the ground, took a quick moment to rub it in my Russian friend’s face, leaped onto the innocents sitting on the couch and writhed with glee. And I’ll admit, as a Crosby fan, I was more than a little pleased that he had taken the spotlight on the biggest sporting stage possible. James Duthie put it beautifully: “[Crosby] was born to score that goal.” Sidney deserved it, his teammates deserved it and Canada, through all our four years of sweating and headaches and wringing of wrists, deserved it. It was the “Henderson scores for Canada!” moment of our generation and it is something I will never, ever forget.

However, the Olympics weren’t all about Canada. I think. Some other big stories included the Swedes early exit, Slovakia’s miracle run, the colossal defeat of Alexander Ovechkin and the powerhouse Russians, and Jaromir Jagr’s triumphant if transitory return to spotlight. Ovechkin’s hit on Jagr was one of the most bone-crushing shoulder-to-shoulder blows I have ever seen, further magnified because it resulted in a turnover and a huge Evgeni Malkin goal that put the Russians up by two early into the third.

Playoffs? PLAYOFFS?: The 2010 Stanley Cup playoffs contained a lot of special moments – the monumental 0-3 series comeback by the Philadelphia Flyers over the Boston Bruins, the joyride of Jaroslav Halak and the Montreal Canadiens, the end of the 49-year Cup drought in Chicago. My favourite moments, however, involved the simpler things. And by simple, I mean Patrick Kane’s classic mullet, rated Gretzkian in greatness, Crosbian in greasiness.

Chris Pronger also provided a welcome infusion of personality with his puck stealing skills and general media snarkiness. I’m probably one of a very small minority, but Pronger is among my favourite players in the League – I love his leadership, his toughness, his skill. Also, I like mean people.

WAFFLEROFL: Making fun of the Toronto Maple Leafs has been a time-honoured tradition among Canadians for decades, but one disgruntled Leafs fan took it to a whole new level when he decided to show his frustration in the most obscure way he could: waffles on the ice. The "Eggo Bomber," who also keeps a Twitter, has been lauded and lambasted by fans and media alike, but none can doubt his audacity or his inevitable future prosecution.

For now, the Waffle Cup may be as close to the actual Cup as the Leafs are going to get. So they might as well savour it. Nom nom nom.

You Want Magic, You Want Money?: Jordan Eberle was already a minor Canadian celebrity for the ones who followed the World Junior Hockey Championship. For the few and the clueless who hadn’t been watching, Eberle’s first ever NHL goal was one of the top "stand-up and look-at-me" moments of the year. If you didn’t know about the kid then, you did after this.

Video: Alexander Ovechkin Fights Brandon Dubinsky

2010-12-12T17:44:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure if you can call this the first National Hockey League "fight" that Ovechkin has ever been in - he got into a tussle with Mike Richards and was pushed around by Paul Gaustad - but it is the first time he's ever legitimately squared up with another player with the intention of throwing 'em, and then actually going through with it. No Matt Bradley to stop you this time, Ovie.

Early tweets are arguing that Ovechkin lost the fight, but I don't think that matters as much as what the action represented. Ovechkin has been in a desperate struggle to score points, and the Capitals have lost two in a row and are en route to their third straight loss tonight against the New York Rangers. Good for Ovie for standing up for his players and his team. That's the diligent work of a captain.

Video: Evgeni Malkin is Very Russian and We Love Him For It

2010-12-07T21:01:00.000-08:00

Okay, this is by far the funniest unintentionally funny "commercial" that I've seen in a while.

Foreigners you know...gotta love 'em.

ANOZER DAY AT ZEE OFFIZZ!

Picture of the Day: The Best of the Dany Heatley and Lebron James Fan Signs

2010-12-02T21:39:00.000-08:00

It wasn't the best of days for Dany Heatley and Lebron James, although the rest of the sporting world enjoyed the happy cosmological circumstances that, on the very same night, returned these two hated ex-players to their hostile ex-cities. Here are a few of the best - and most scathing - fan-made signs and pictures.

Charming.

Via Dan O'Toole: Really quite brilliant.

Via CBS, where you can find a lot more Lebron James hater-phernalia.

Here's a nice video of Sens fans giving Heatley a warm welcome.

Via CBC: Sharks fan stickin' it to 'em good.

The Ottawa Sun's front page, which was suuuuper classy. Hearkens back to the good old classics - Chicago Tribune anyone?

Sometimes I am happy there are people in the world.

Alright, in the words of all the Senators and Cavaliers fans tonight: "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Video: Dustin Brown Dancing to Children's Music and it's Great

2010-11-29T14:27:00.001-08:00

Probably the best thing I've seen ever.

P.S. it's also adorable.

Dancin' Dustin Brown from Greg Wyshynski on Vimeo.

[Photo: Celebs Gather]

Video: New York Islanders fan doesn't like the New York Islanders

2010-11-29T14:20:00.000-08:00

Hate for the Islanders > $600. And yes, I had to use a calculator for that.

[Photo: Bleacher Report]

Picture of the Day: Mark Messier Apparently Anonymous in Canada

2010-11-29T14:11:00.000-08:00

Via Puck Daddy:

There was an article on the National Post today with a rather amusing Canadian faux pas - read the picture's caption.

SO. GOOD.

Sidney Crosby Fights Matt Niskanen And It's Awesome

2010-11-03T20:05:00.000-07:00

Nothing I like better than superstars who are willing to drop the gloves every now and then, especially when it's not all bear hugs and limp-wristers. Crosby has had a few other fights in his NHL career before, but never one won so cleanly as it was in tonight's tilt against the Dallas Stars' Matt Niskanen.

Also, it was awesome. Crosby beat him like a rag doll. Can we all agree on that?

[Picture: Pittsburgh Post]

Separated At Birth: Anze Kopitar and The Joker

2010-10-10T00:52:00.000-07:00

Doesn't look like he'll be needing a costume this year. (click for larger version)

Video: Jordan Eberle's First NHL Goal

2010-10-07T21:33:00.000-07:00

It deserves a post all on its own. It is that good.

[Photo: Faceoff]

10 Awesome Things To Look Forward To In The Upcoming NHL Season

2010-10-05T16:40:00.000-07:00

1. Young Guns: So. Many. Good. Youngs in the NHL. And they all has guns. In particular, we're talking about the trifecta of Edmonton Oilers talent, Jordan Eberle, Magnus Paajarvi and Taylor Hall. While the Oilers may not be close to contending this year, fans can take solace in the fact that nightly, their team will be an electrifying one to watch.

2. Washington's Year: Many pundits are predicting the Washington Capitals to win the Stanley Cup this year - and once again, their biggest question mark leading up to the season will be in net. With the departure of Jose Theodore, the Capitals turn to Semyon Varlamov and rookie Michal Neuvirth to shoulder the load between them. The Capitals are solid at every position, and their goaltending only has to be good - not great - for them to stand an excellent chance of hoisting the Cup.

3. Canada's Best Chance: After a complete defensive breakdown and out-of-character play in last year's playoffs, the Vancouver Canucks will be looking to rebound after making a couple of key acquisitions in the off-season. Gone are defencemen Willie Mitchell and Shane O'Brien, and in come prized unrestricted free agent Dan Hamhuis and the rough-and-tumble Keith Ballard. Many wonder if the two d-men will be enough to push the Canucks to the next level, and more importantly, if Roberto Luongo will be able to bounce back after some shaky post-season play. If so, the Canucks are poised for a long Stanley Cup run.

4. Will Olli Jokinen Suck? Now I'm not trying to be a Negative Nancy or anything, but once Darryl Sutter reacquired the much-maligned NHL centreman, fans went a little crazy in Cowtown. I think I've said enough about this already, so I'll just say only one thing more: if Olli's amazing, Sutter's a genius, if he tanks, Sutter's fired - but I'm thinking he'll be somewhere in between. Just mediocre. Olli okay. Besides, Flames fans will have much more to worry about if they fail to make the playoffs again. Like their collective sanity.

5. What Will Sidney Crosby Improve Next? Foot-speed? Check. Stick-handling? Check. Faceoff percentage? Check. Goals? Check. Beard growth? Desperately needing work.

6. Blackhawks Down: The off-season saw the departure of Dustin Byfuglien, Kris Versteeg, John Madden, Brent Sopel, Andrew Ladd, Antti Niemi and Adam Burish - but throughout their cap management gymnastics, Chicago still managed to maintain their core group of players. However, many are questioning if the Blackhawks have done sufficient damage control in the acquisition of new players like Marty Turco and Fernando Pisani. The loss of toughness, size and character could mean the Blackhawks will have to shape themselves a new team image. With it could come a whole new outcome.

7. Price Ou Halak: Pierre Gauthier's decision to ship out Jaroslav Halak was a choice not taken lightly by Habs fans, some who, just weeks before, had feverishly purchased Halak jerseys during Montreal's playoff run...those poor suckers. So now the inevitable question: who will have the better season? It's going to be one of the more intriguing mysteries to unravel this season. Remember Habs fans: Carey Says Relax. But actually. Relax. Christ, you guys are nuts.

8. The Saves, The Hits, The Highlight Reel Goals: It's what we live for, these moments. It's what makes this game so special. I'm ready to have my mind blown apart, reassembled, then ripped to shreds again by the awesomeness that is soon to ensue. Speaking of mind-blowing...Jordan-FREAKIN'-Eberle, anyone?

9. Winter Classics: This year's annual Winter Classic festivities will feature the Washington Capitals versus the Pittsburgh Penguins (omgsocreative), but the most awesomest part of it all is that a few weeks before, HBO will be airing their own mini-documentary on all the pre-game preparations leading up to the big day on January 1st. This is a win for hockey.

10. Hockey Players All Sweaty: And finally, the NHL marketing team always comes out with amazing advertising campaigns - that's one part of the league that never fails to impress me. Well. Except for this. This was bad.

Their latest advertising foray is called "Questions Will Become Answers", and it's fantastic. It features the likes of Alex Ovechkin, Sidney Crosby, Ryan Miller, Jonathan Toews, and Mike Cammalleri all up in the gym just working on their fitness. There's more to it than that though, I promise.

And Sid's:

[Photo: Montreal Gazette]

Things That Are Funny: Alex Kovalev Fighting Francois Beauchemin

2010-09-29T18:35:00.000-07:00

You think Kovalev is going all rope-a-dope on him for a while, but nope: he's just sucking.

[Photo: Kuklas Korner]

All You Need To Know About The Penguins-Capitals HBO Series

2010-09-23T09:35:00.001-07:00

Similar to the NFL's "Hard Knocks" mini-documentaries, the HBO series will be called "24/7 Penguins/Capitals: Road To The NHL Winter Classic", and will feature an inside look at the players' preparations leading up the NHL's fourth Winter Classic on January 1st, 2011.
The cameras will know no boundaries - inside the locker rooms, at team meetings, within players' homes, on plane rides - HBO touts it as "unprecedented access."
The series will contain four episodes airing weekly at 10pm, starting on December 15th, 22nd, 29th, and then finally on January 5th, which will chronicle the events of the actual outdoor game.
In keeping with HBO tradition, all dialogue between players and coaches will be uncensored. Which is freakin' amazing. I look forward to eavesdropping on Bruce Boudreau, because that man was born to be uncensored.

In celebration of the announcement, "DownGoesBrown" started the Twitter meme #NHLRealityShows. Some good ones:

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy Lafleur #NHLRealityShows
I'm an Ottawa Senator, Get Me Out Of Here! #NHLRealityShows
Who Wants To Marry a Multimillionaire Backup Goalie and Then Listen To Him Bitch About Money All Day? #NHLRealityShows (in reference to the Dan Ellis "incident")
Cash Cab with Patrick Kane #NHLRealityShows
the best one: Temptation Island feat. Kyle Wellwood #NHLRealityShows
and again... My Big Fat Obnoxious Kyle Wellwood #NHLRealityShows
Sorry Kyle.

Here's what the players involved had to say:

Sidney Crosby:

“I think it’s going to be pretty cool to have them follow us around a bit. I’m sure it will be something that we look back on and it will be great to see the interaction with all the guys and all the preparation leading up to games. That will be pretty neat to have all the footage of. Hopefully fans will get to know our team a little better as regular people as well.”

HBO president Ross Greenberg:

“Taking our reality series ‘24/7’ into the world of the National Hockey League is a perfect fit. The ‘24/7’ franchise is fashioned on larger-than-life personalities, engaging storylines, and unrestricted access. With Sidney Crosby leading the Penguins and Alex Ovechkin leading the Capitals, we have all the ingredients for a dynamic show that will take viewers deep inside professional hockey and set the stage for the Winter Classic.”

Max Talbot:

“Most fans just see us in our equipment playing the game. Yes, they might see us up on the scoreboard doing some different charitable things, but I really think they are going to see a different side of us, the real us. They will see what it’s like when we get dressed in the locker room and what the atmosphere is. It’s way more than just skating around.”

George McPhee:

"We've been pretty strict with access to the locker room and we've always felt that the locker room at the practice rink or the main rink is really a player sanctuary. They have to have some place where they can work and have some privacy; that's why we've been strict. But with HBO -- after watching what they did with 'Hard Knocks' and everything else and seeing some of the other programs that they've done, they're big time. We're going to give them unfettered access, because we thought 'Hard Knocks' was great."

Alexander Ovechkin:

"If I'm gonna say some bad words it's gonna be Russian words...this is gonna be probably my favorite show. It’s pretty cool experience, sick. For the team, for the guys, for the organization, it’s a big step forward. We’re gonna be on TV again, so it’s good.”

[Photo: pghpenguins]

Duncan's Teeth - Duchene scores an absolute beauty, Hodgson is pretty much kind of ready

2010-09-21T16:21:00.000-07:00

[Duncan's Teeth is a round-up of the seven most interesting and intriguing hockey links of the day. Named in honour of Duncan Keith and the late seven teeth he lost in the playoffs on that fateful day of Sunday, May 23rd, 2010. May the chicklets rest in peace.]

Matt Duchene scores an orgasmic, Datsyukian-like goal during the shootout of a Colorado Avalanche Intersquad game. Guuhhhamazing. (BTW, picture above = most awkward thing ever? His pants are feeling the strain...) [Puck Daddy]

The New York Islanders have signed their fifth overall pick in the 2010 Draft, Nino Niederreiter, to a three-year entry level contract. So...jealous... [NHL]
In the spirit of disclosing all things Patrick Kane, here's his latest interview with the Globe and Mail's Eric Duhatschek. It's all about money, cars, partying, and bitches. Or not. [Globe and Mail]
Is he healthy or is he injured? Beware hockey poolies - Marc Savard, still suffering from post-concussion symptoms, could be out for the entire season. [NESN]
Calm down Canucks fans...Cody Hodgson is healthy and ready to rumble! Sort of. [Vancouver Sun]
For all you video game nerdos out there who bought NHL 11 at 12:01am on the day of its release, here's a review from The Hockey News proclaiming it the "best hockey game for the series so far." Ooooo. Geek out! [THN]
Hey! For the huuuge amount of lady readers I have (at least two), here's a hilarious hockey site dedicated to all the "passionate female fans" who need to get their eye candy fix on. [HFTL]

[Photo: Faceoff]

Sidney Crosby Homers Out Of An Actual Major League Ballpark

2010-09-08T15:45:00.000-07:00

This man is magic.

I have nothing more to say.

Forget Crosby and Ovechkin - Market Patrick Kane

2010-08-16T13:16:00.000-07:00

I know it sounds bad, yes. How could Patrick Kane - sleazy, hairless, unable-to-sacrifice-20-cents Patrick Kane -become the next emblem of the NHL? At first, there doesn’t seem to be room in the league between the Sidney Crosby-Alexander Ovechkin rivalry and the constant bombardment of Washington-Pittsburgh merchandise. At most, Kane’s role is secondary, and further reduced to background noise next to the League's more "marketable" stars.

But I have a proposition to make: Patrick Kane, the next new face of the NHL.

Kane, age 21, has emerged as the unlikely poster boy for Generation Y. Unlike his fellow linemate Jonathan Toews, Kane doesn't shy away from flaunting his youth and enthusiasm. He isn’t afraid to party and shuffle down a couple beers while he’s at it. And in an instant, Kane can shed the playfulness and display a fire and drive akin to that of a Stanley Cup champion. [Sidenote: What represents our generation more than Twi-hards? Patrick Kane is one of them...which is hilarious, we can all agree, but endearing, too.] Unlike Crosby or Ovechkin, who have been more or less shackled to the league's demands of propriety, Kane is the league's most relatable – and most human – player, whose god-like talents are balanced by a down-to-earth disposition.

We all know by now the infamous cab driver incident, and by no means do I intend to suggest these actions are excusable. But as the maxim goes, no one is perfect, and I think it’s safe to dismiss his mistake as a product of youth, not as a flaw in personality. I don’t believe Kane is the “douchebag” some people let him out to be. Reading up on his recent outings with the Stanley Cup suggests his maturation is coming on quickly.

With a league that is so stilted in personality – half of the players are your typical “good Canadian boys” who say and do all the right things (although it beats players who shoot themselves in the legs at clubs), Kane represents the all-American face the league should endorse if it wants to further attract markets down South. He might not appeal to all demographics, but for young people just beginning to dig their fingers into hockey, Kane would be an excellent ambassador of the game. He represents prodigious skill, talent, and youth unfettered by regulation. Let Crosby and Ovechkin be the landmarks of this era – but give Patrick Kane and others like him the chance to shine too.

[Photo: Zimbio]

Max Talbot Calls Alexander Ovechkin a "Douche"

2010-07-27T12:04:00.000-07:00

105.9 The X, a local Pittsburgh radio station, had Max Talbot on to talk a little bit about the upcoming Winter Classic starring his own Pittsburgh Penguins versus the Washington Capitals. Max has never been one to pull any punches, and today was no exception - just listen to his answer when he was asked about his feelings towards one Alexander Ovechkin. Find the full interview here - the first blow comes about a minute in. Hilarious.

[Photo: Pittsburgh Magazine]

Picture of the Day: Henrik Zetterberg's Really Weird Wedding Photos

2010-07-22T23:54:00.000-07:00

Those wacky Swedes.

Henrik Zetterberg and television personality Emma Andersson will be tying the knot on Friday, but not before they take these zany photos of themselves and confuse the crap out of everyone.

Find the rest of the photos here, at the Swedish media website Aftonbladet. It's worth it, trust me. I translated the page and the headline reads, "Now bang it," and it just gets better and better from there.

[Photo: Aftonbladet]

Duncan's Teeth - Kovalchuk deal rejected, Bieksa to the Habs, and a Cat Playing Hockey

2010-07-20T14:14:00.000-07:00

[Duncan's Teeth is a round-up of the seven most interesting and intriguing hockey links of the day. Named in honour of Duncan Keith and the late seven teeth he lost on that fateful day of Sunday, May 23rd, 2010. May the chicklets rest in peace.]

Ilya Kovalchuk signs a 17-year, $102 million mega deal with the New Jersey Devils that will potentially see him play hockey until the ripe old age of 44. His contract represents a reasonable $6 million annual cap hit, and while I don't mind the details of the signing, I don't think Kovalchuk is the key to another Cup in Jersey. The Devils are investing a lot in a player who can score goals, but who has had minimal playoff success and questionable defensive tendencies. It would be different if Kovalchuk was 22 years old, but he's 27, in the midst of his so-called "prime" and not getting any younger. [NJ.com]

Edit: The Kovalchuk deal has been REJECTED by the NHL for "salary cap circumvention." Darren Dreger tweeted that "Kovy's deal was rejected because the NHL doesn't believe either the player or the Devils expected he would be playing near end of deal."

The longtime Philadelphia Flyer Simon Gagne is traded to the Tampa Bay Lightning in exchange for defenceman Matt Walker and a fourth-round draft pick in 2011. I feel the popular choice for a dark horse next season will be Tampa Bay - they're still fairly thin on the blueline, but Lecavalier, Gagne, Stamkos, and Downie should make for a potent offence (and imagine if Brett Connolly manages to impress in training camp!) [CBC]
Latest rumour surrounding Kevin Bieksa: headed to Montreal in exchange for a "significant" forward prospect? [Hockey Buzz]
The importance of the number 17 for Ilya Kovalchuk, and his quirky, Crosby 87-like obsession with it. [NJ.com]
The worst commercial I have ever seen sadly involves hockey. Thanks to Puck Daddy for the link. [YouTube]
Jason Spezza apparently still loves being in Ottawa. [TSN]
Lastly (and most importantly), here is a cat playing hockey. This counts as news in the off-season.

[Photo: NHL Talk]

Picture of the Day: Jonathan Toews and the Stanley Cup Like Public Transit

2010-07-12T12:08:00.001-07:00

I love this photo. I love it for the baby in sunglasses, the fact that they're on a bus, the hint of Blackhawks sweater on the side. I love it for the casual slouch in Jonathan Toews' shoulders - just another day in Winnipeg with the Stanley Cup.

[Photo: Puck Daddy]

The Canucks Summer Summit, thoughts on Naslund, and more

2010-07-06T20:40:00.000-07:00

Now that the free agent frenzy is all but over in terms of big names still available (*death glare at Kovalchuk*), I'm going to let up a bit on the posting and updates and start working on some other summer projects.

But there are still a couple of hockey-related things to get through.

I was lucky enough to be given tickets to this year's Canucks Summer Summit (if you are reading, thank you Trevor Gibson!), and it was quite a unique experience. We were able to get our pictures taken with the Hart and Art Ross trophies, as well as meet and greet with various Canucks prospects like Jordan Schroeder, Patrick McNally, and Yann Sauve. Mike Gillis and Stan Smyl were also available for photo opportunities, and Gillis was considerably less nasty than he usually seems on television.

After the free buffet (nom nom nom), we gathered around a makeshift platform (see below), and listened to John Shorthouse and Jim Robson interview Gillis, Smyl, and Chief Operating Officer Victor de Bonis (not to be mistaken as a poor man's Dave Nonis). Gillis was his usual self: snarky, one-worded, acerbic, but entertaining nonetheless.

The first surprise of the night was the announcement of the retirement of Markus Naslund's #19 jersey, which was a decision I found many hated. In a Canucks franchise that has received little in terms of silver hardware, to me, Naslund represented the beginnings of a winning tradition. He was a role model, gracious and likeable, and he contributed generously to the community and the fans. Statistically, he's the Canucks' leader in overall goals and points, and has one of the highest single-season point totals in franchise history; he's also a Lester B. Pearson award winner and Hart trophy nominee. I don't think it's fair to hold the Canucks' retirement standards up to franchises like Montreal or Toronto, because the Canucks are (a) a younger organization, and (b) have never won a Stanley Cup. The criteria should be constituted of players who have accomplished and achieved the most, and who have represented a high degree of excellence within the Canucks organization. I understand that this makes the process rather arbitrary (Pavel Bure, anyone? Anyone?!) but in this instance, #19 is a jersey worthy of retirement. I think Jeff Marek put it best: "VAN "retires", TOR "honours", its all about internal excellence in each case."

After that piece of news, we received a visit from the first ever Canucks captain, Orland Kurtenbach. We were all told there would be a surprise guest, so we figured Kurtenbach was the end of it, but a few minutes later, Shorthouse announced the arrival of two more guests: newly-signed defenceman Dan Hamhuis, and slightly overpaid center Manny Malhotra! The excitement was palpable. I caught their entire interview on video (below).

After that, the fans were allowed to ask a few questions to the panel. Most of them were aimed at Mike Gillis - and really, nothing is more amusing in life than Gillis answering silly questions like, "why is our entrance so lame? We need fire like the Flames!" (p.s. Gillis' answer was "I'd rather have a hockey team," to which the crowd "oohed" and "aahed" and clapped their hands in approval.)

And that was that. Like I said, since it's summer and the sun is beckoning me, I won't be updating as often as I have, but I'll still be posting the odd article or video or amusing photo, so check back.

Hope you guys are having a great summer! I'll see you in September!

[Photo: Pierre LeBrun]

A Study in the Mental Decline of the Flames Fan

2010-07-01T19:10:00.000-07:00

The Calgary Flames' re-acquisition of Olli Jokinen was shocking, to say the least. Shocking, because Jokinen had proved to be such a poor compliment to Jarome Iginla, and shocking because the move by Darryl Sutter was so redundant, so painstakingly unoriginal. Jokinen's last tenure as a Flame was marred by severe underachievement, to the point where it became almost funny to see how badly everyone wanted to move on from the mess that was his time in Calgary. Many thought he was gone for good. Alas, Sutter was busy concocting other ideas, and you can bet that if the Jokinen deal does not pan out, the longtime GM will be waving goodbye to the Flames organization.

Right now, nothing is more wildly entertaining than reading the reactions of Flames fans. They are in turns angry, hysterical, disappointed, perplexed, suicidal, and sometimes close to tears.

Ryan Lambert, contributor of Puck Daddy and longtime Flames fan, had a mini meltdown on Twitter. I'm pretty sure he went through all the traditional stages of grief. First, denial:

Then, multiple tweets of anger:

After that, fits of depression:

And finally, a degree of acceptance:

And that's about as good as it's going to get. The hard part will be the antagonizing wait all summer, where fans will have plenty of time on their hands to moan and groan about what else Sutter could have spent money on. That is, if Sutter doesn't make another move or two, which will likely happen as the Flames still need a couple players to fill the gaps up front. In the meantime, the Flames faithful will be forced to stare at Jokinen's handlebar mustache for 164 more games, barring injury. And barring he doesn't shave. And barring some fans don't attack him in an alley one night, tie him up and throw him out to sea in a barrel. Judging by early reactions, it could happen. Just sayin'.

[Photo: Times Colonist]

Duncan's Teeth - Some thoughts on free agent frenzy

2010-07-01T15:14:00.000-07:00

It's a good day to be a Vancouver Canucks fan. GM Mike Gillis shores up the blue line by snagging the coveted Dan Hamhuis for a six-year, $4.5 million deal, while adding depth to the front by acquiring forwards Manny Malhotra, Jeff Tambellini, and Joel Perrault. Also, the 'Nucks news you might have missed: Andrew Raycroft signs with the Dallas Stars, which leaves space for prospect Cory Schneider to shift into the number two spot behind Roberto Luongo (if he doesn't get traded first). These moves likely signal the end for Kevin Bieksa...goodbye, Chiseled Jawline. [Vancouver Sun]
The Pittsburgh Penguins waste no time filling the chasm left by the departure of Sergei Gonchar, signing defencemen Zbynek Michalek and Paul Martin for $20 million over five seasons and $25 million over five seasons, respectively. I love these two deals for the Penguins - contract length means stability long-term, and Michalek and Martin, while not the most offensively minded, are two of the most quietly reliable defencemen in the League. [Associated Press]
Speaking of Sergei Gonchar, the Ottawa Senators reel in one of the biggest fish in the UFA market, signing the Russian to a three-year, $16.5 million deal. Although he's getting up there in age, Gonchar is still a great defenceman, not to mention a calming presence in the locker room and a vast improvement over the Senators lowly power play. [Ottawa Citizen]
Surprising. Bizarre. Outlandish. These are all adjectives that have been used to describe Darryl Sutter's signing of former Calgary Flames player Olli Jokinen to yet another contract, albeit at $2.5 million less than last time ($6 million over two years). Some quick perusing over at the Calary Flames message board has told me that Flames fans are none too happy. Actually, the reactions are kind of hilarious. The fact that Jokinen showed zero chemistry on a line with Jarome Iginla did not seem to play into Sutter's decision, but Alex Tanguay's arrival might mean Jokinen will be able to be hog the puck on a line all by himself. [Calgary Herald]
It's a day for filling holes: the New Jersey Devils sign defenceman Henrik Tallinder to a four-year, $13.5 million contract, then land the shot-blocking, hard-nosed blue liner Anton Volchenkov for $25.5 million over six years. I like these moves by the Devils; both players should fit right into the traditional New Jersey defensive model. [NJ.com]
The funny love-hate relationship Blackhawks blogger Steve Rosenbloom has with Kris Versteeg. Refers to Versteeg rapping, which is good enough for me. [Rosenblog]
James Mirtle has a great list of the free agents still available. Some significant pieces still in play. [The Globe and Mail]

In other news, Kyle Wellwood has yet to sign with a team. This is sad. Cry cry cry.

[Hamhuis Photo: Philly Sports Blog]

[Welly Photo: Canuckz]

HAPPY FREE AGENT FRENZY DAY! Also, Jonathan Toews and Snookie Together...At Last.

2010-06-30T20:14:00.000-07:00

GOOOOOOOO NUTS!

In just a few hours, July 1st, otherwise known as "Free Agent Frenzy," kicks off. As a special treat, here's Jonathan Toews in an interview with Jersey Shore's all around best person ever, Snookie. Thanks to Puck Daddy for the link.

And to all in Canada, have a Happy Canada Day! I'll be sporting my Team Canada Crosby jersey from noon till night.

[Photo: Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]

Picture of the Day: Headline in Newspaper After the U.S.A. is Eliminated from the World Cup

2010-06-28T14:10:00.000-07:00

This has nothing to do with hockey, but it's too good not to post.

Video: Cam Fowler Mic'd During His Excruciating NHL Draft Wait

2010-06-28T12:41:00.000-07:00

Even if we weren't all losing our marbles à la Pierre McGuire as the New York Rangers opted to select Dylan McIlrath with their 10th overall pick, Cam Fowler's drop from his projected Top 5 slot was slightly disconcerting, especially for those of us who trust NHL scout rankings to make us sound smart.

No one, I'm sure, was feeling as badly as Fowler as he watched player after player head up to the podium before him - luckily for us, we are able to follow his reactions bit-by-bit via this awesome, inside look at a Fowler's NHL draft journey.

Duncan's Teeth - Draft Day Action

2010-06-25T15:00:00.000-07:00

The Edmonton Oilers end the lengthly and much-hyped Taylor/Tyler debate, selecting Taylor Hall as the 2010 1st overall pick. Lucky boy. With Magus Paajarvi-Svensson and Jordan Eberle coming up, the Oilers ain't looking like pushovers no more. [Edmonton Journal]
Prospect Victor Oreskovich and goalie slayer Keith Ballard are headed to the Vancouver Canucks, in exchange for Vancouver's 25th overall pick, Michael Grabner, and the much-maligned Steve Bernier. Watch your back Lu. [Vancouver Sun]
Tampa Bay Lightning's Steve Yzerman makes his first big splash as a GM, selecting Brett Connolly, the hockey player that had the scouts divided, as the 6th overall pick. Lots of baseball metaphors followed..."grand slam"..."home run pick"..."strike out"... [TBO]

New York Rangers GM Glen Sather shocks the hockey world by selecting Dylan McIlrath, the "toughest prospect in the draft," while overlooking blue chip defencemen Brandon Gormley and Cam Fowler. Dumbest move ever? Stroke of genius? I can't wait to come back to this pick in five years and see how everything has panned out. [Rangers NHL]
The Pittsburgh Penguins acquire the rights to defenceman Dan Hamhuis from the Philadelphia Flyers in exchange for a third round pick in next year's draft. So...the Flyers trade Ryan Parent in order for the rights to sign Hamhuis, and when they can't, send one of the most coveted free agents of the off-season to a hated division rival? Does this make any sense? [Philadelphia Inquirer]
In the only other pick by a Canadian team in the first round, the Montreal Canadiens traded up for big defenceman Jarred Tinordi. PK Subban discounted, Tinordi will be a great addition to the fairly shallow pool of young Canadiens "D". [Canadiens.com]
A great round-up of the top 30 picks, including key statistics and condensed player profiles, from Sports Illustrated. Nino Niederreiter, anyone?! SO JEALOUS. [Sports Illustrated]

[Photo: Edmonton Oilers]

Ryan Getzlaf and Bobby Ryan's Hilarious NHL Awards Skit

2010-06-23T20:05:00.000-07:00

In case you decided to skip the NHL awards this year (I don't blame you), you missed a digital short that was an absolute gem by Anaheim Ducks teammates Ryan Getzlaf and Bobby Ryan. Let's call it "Gold vs. Silver." Check it out.

[Photo: Anaheim Calling]

Henrik Sedin wins Hart Trophy

2010-06-23T18:09:00.000-07:00

This is a blog for hockey fans from all over the world, and I try my best to be unbiased, but let's be honest, I have a special place in my heart for the Vancouver Canucks.

Tonight, Henrik Sedin took home the Hart trophy, or League MVP as voted on by the media. This is the first time in franchise history that a player has won the award, and although our city has never had a lot to cheer about, this was truly a great moment to be a Canucks fan.

Thank you Henrik for an unbelievable year. Here's hoping next season you and the Canucks can bring home an even bigger piece of hardware. *no jinxies*

Here's an interview with Hank moments after he won the Hart:

[Photo: Canucks.com]

Dustin Byfuglien traded to Atlanta, Canucks fans cry with happiness

2010-06-23T14:44:00.000-07:00

It's hard to terrorize Luongo when you're stuck in the other Conference.

Dustin Byfuglien, the maniacal behemoth that has ruled over the goaltending crease of Roberto Luongo for so long, is off to Atlanta, which means he will play the Vancouver Canucks only once every regular season. I think I just heard the *pop* of a champagne bottle.

The trade: Dustin Byfuglien, Ben Eager, Brent Sopel, and Akim Aliu to the Atlanta Thrashers, in exchange for the 24th overall pick, the 54th pick, Marty Reasoner, Joey Crabb and Jeremy Morin, via Bob McKenzie.

Canucks fans: are you happy? Or are you really happy?

Okay, okay, and the more important question: good trade for both teams? We knew Chicago had a ton of salary to dump. They lose a little bit of depth, but gain a veteran presence in Reasoner, and as if they needed more young talent, a boatload of prospects. As for the Atlanta side, does anyone...care? (I kid, I kid)

The trade is still in progress, meaning nothing is finalized. I'll keep you guys posted.

Update: Alright, it's finalized. Happy now?

Duncan's Teeth - Niedermayer retires, Blackhawks go gay, and Ladd to the Canucks?

2010-06-22T11:21:00.000-07:00

Whoah, what a day!
Future Hall of Famer Scott Niedermayer announces his retirement today. Premature, or just right? [CBC]

Nathan Horton and Gregory Campbell will deal with mediocrity no longer, as they are traded from the Florida Panthers to the Boston Bruins in exchange for Dennis Wideman, the Bruins' 15th pick in the 2010 draft, and a third round pick in the 2011 draft. [NHL]
Pat Quinn steps down as head coach of the Edmonton Oilers, to be replaced by Tom Renney. That was...quick. [Edmonton Journal]
The Chicago Blackhawks will march in Chicago's gay Pride Parade. Brent Sopel is pumped. [Puck Daddy]
Andrew Ladd might be heading to the Vancouver Canucks. Ryan Kesler says, "wait...what?" [TSN]
This year's inductees into the Hockey Hall of Fame were released today: Dino Ciccarelli, Angela James, Cammi Granato among the notable players. BUT NO PAT BURNS. WTF MOMENT. [Globe and Mail]
The NHL's 2010-11 schedule was released today. How does your favourite teams' season shape up? Find the Canucks' sched here. Longest road trip: 5 games. Woo! [NHL]

[Photo: PE]

Jaroslav Halak traded to the St. Louis Blues for...A Bag of Pucks?

2010-06-17T12:51:00.000-07:00

No, no, not a bag of pucks, that's a bit too harsh. Lars Eller and Ian Schultz deserve a little more credit than that. Schultz has the distinction of being the younger brother of Jeff Schultz, so make what you want of that, and Eller, according to Bob McKenzie via Twitter, has a "good combination of skill and edge." Oookie dokie.

But what do you guys think? Jaroslav Halak had one of the most remarkable runs in recent playoff memory, and he's only three years older than Carey Price (25 and 22, respectively). Did GM Pierre Gauthier make the correct gamble? Or was the trade inevitable, given that Halak's stock was so high coming off such a dazzling playoff performance?

[Photo: Montreal Gazette]

Video: Patrick Kane is a Tank

2010-06-11T14:49:00.001-07:00

Here's a video of Patrick Kane chugging champagne, then throwing a nerf ball, then drinking a beer, then drinking from the Cup, then breaking it down, then drinking more beer, then saying things like this:

"I tell ya one thing, I'm going to try to keep my shirt on all summer, just for you guys."

View more news videos at: http://www.nbcchicago.com/video.

Can I just say, Best. Video. Ever.

[Photo: WIVB]

The Top 10 Moments of the 2010 Stanley Cup Playoffs

2010-06-11T00:26:00.000-07:00

1. Live This Down…Just Try

Dan Boyle’s own goal in Game 3 against the Colorado Avalanche will forever be solidified in the annals of SportsCentre’s Not Top Ten Plays, but it was the call from Av’s radio play-by-play man Marc Moser that was the real highlight of the night. Favourite moment: “I THINK THE SAN JOSE SHARKS…JUST THREW IT INTO THEIR OWN NET!!! (voice breaks) THEY DIIIIYIIID!”

2. How the Mighty Fall Really Fast

One of the Montreal Canadiens’ victims in their improbable Cup run was the Washington Capitals, a team many were picking to go all the way. Alexander Ovechkin arguably has had one of the most miserable years in hockey. Russia was trounced 7-3 by the Canadians in the Olympics, the Capitals were eliminated early, and then at the World Hockey Championships, Ovechkin had a chance at redemption, but lost in a shocker to the Czech Republic.

3. Sid’s Tricks

First, a dazzling defensive play to sweep the puck away from the goal line, then at the other end of the ice, wheeling and dealing around Jason Spezza four dizzying times to set up the game-winner. These are two lasting images I will take away from these playoffs.

4. Montreal, and the Little Habitants That Could

The Montreal Canadiens’ remarkable run through the playoffs is one of those jaw-dropping times in life you just have to sit back and enjoy. On the back of goaltender Jaroslav Halak, the Canadiens put to rest Cup favourites Washington Capitals, then out-lasted the defending champs Pittsburgh Penguins, before finally subjecting to the Philadelphia Flyers who were as much of a Cinderella team as they were.

5. Cinderella II: Flyers Frenzy

If the Canadiens were the Cinderella team of the playoffs, then the Philadelphia Flyers were Cinderella’s doppelganger. We all know by now how the Flyers climbed out of a 0-3 series deficit against Boston, and how they gleefully repeated that feat in the final game of the series, just to screw with their fans. The 0-3 series comeback was only one of three in NHL history, and one of four in the major North America sports leagues.

6. Wheeee!

Two spectacular saves that were eerily similar stood out for me this post-season. Martin Brodeur and Robert Luongo were both down-and-out, but made swiping snatches to take away sure goals.

7. Cue Drowning and Sinking Metaphors

By now we’ve all learned to keep our expectations at a minimum when it comes to the San Jose Sharks in the playoffs, but for one fleeting moment I was convinced that the Sharks were, this time, for real. They reached the Western Conference Finals for only the second time in franchise history, and Joe Thornton was finally playing like he wasn't Joe Thornton. Unfortunately for the Sharks, they ran into the Chicago Blackhawks, a team that who was destined for greater things.

8. Too Many Too Many Men Calls

There were a ridonkulous amount of Too Many Men Calls in the post-season (final tally: 36), so much so that TSN started a TMM count, complete with cheesy block lettering and clown music.

9. Wacky, Tacky, and Unfortunately True

Sami Salo got nailed in the sensitive area on a Duncan Keith shot and received a ruptured testicle for his trouble. Back at GM Place, a chant spontaneously cropped up to honour their wounded warrior: “BALLS OF STEEL, BALLS OF STEEL!”

Patrick Kane’s playoff mullet made the highlight reels almost as much as Vince Vaughn did (okay, we get it, he’s a Chicago Blackhawks fan, stop), and for a good reason. The hairdo spawned a phenomenon of merchandise as well as a healthy number of copycats.

Remember the kerfuffle over Scott Hartnell’s alleged biting of Kris Letang’s finger a year ago? Well, it happened again, this time involving another reputable Flyers player, Dan Carcillo. Only this time, he was the one accusing Marc Savard of munching a little too hard in Game 2 of the Bruins/Flyers series.

Chris Pronger provided some of the best sound bites of the playoffs. I know a lot of people hate him and want him to die of rabies, but I love him. He’s massive, intimidating and skilled, and I’ve heard many players around the League remark on how incredibly tough he is to play against. Also…kind of hot. No? Okay. My favourite quote from him this post-season: “I’m hurt…I’m day-to-day with hurt feelings.”

10. Stanley Cup Winner

So how'd my Cup pick turn out? FREAKING AWESOME, THAT'S HOW. It wasn't the bumpiest of rides to the Stanley Cup final for the Chicago Blackhawks - let's be honest, they out-classed the Predators and the Canucks, then demolished the San Jose Sharks - but it was a different story against the Philadelphia Flyers. The first four games were close and tightly-contested. Perhaps the turning point in the series was in game 5, when Joel Quenneville decided to split up his top line and force Peter Laviolette to mix and match Chris Pronger. Turns out, Pronger is only one large man who can't possibly contain three different players on three different lines. This was none more apparent than when Patrick Kane head-bobbed his way around Kimmo Timonen to score the biggest goal of his life.

Congratulations to the Chicago Blackhawks! A well-deserved Cup winner. Note to Patrick Kane: go shave that mullet and put it in a museum. That hair should never see the light of day again.

Duncan's Teeth - June 10th, 2010

2010-06-09T23:36:00.000-07:00

Video: Adam Burish calls Chris Pronger "the biggest idiot in the world." Funny or just classless? [Pro Hockey Talk]

Yesterday's Game 6 yielded the highest ratings for the NHL since 1974. [National Post]

Video: Jeremy Roenick gets emotional talking about the Chicago Blackhawks. Mike Milbury continues to be an asshole. [NBC]

James Mirtle with some great quotes from Blackhawks players right after the game. [Globe and Mail]

Video: Brent Sopel and Kris Versteeg share some champagne fun with the fans. [Puck Daddy]

Video: Duncan Keith being interviewed after the game. Worth it just to hear him talk with seven missing teeth. [Puck Daddy]

Jonathan Toews will be presenting at the MMVAs. If I watched the MMVAs, I would be fan girl screaming right about now. [CTV Toronto]

Duncan's Teeth - June 9th, 2010

2010-06-09T11:36:00.000-07:00

No pictures of Patrick Kane with goldilocks tresses or Dustin Byfuglien in a cute little blue number, but the Philadelphia Inquirer did give a subtle nod to yesterday's events. Can we all agree that it's a lame response though? Weak...very weak.

Richard Roeper thinks hockey is a "white" sport. [Chicago Sun-Times]

Puck Daddy can give you five reasons the Chicago Blackhawks will win the Cup tonight. [Puck Daddy]

A slideshow on how freaking awesome/medically insane Philadelphia fans are. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

Hockey is a hot commodity, according to Stan Fischler [Hockey Journal]

Kyle Wellwood likely to explore free agency. Vancouver in mourning. [Nucks Misconduct]

Sports Illustrated has a gallery of Great NHL Hairstyles [Sports Illustrated]

Rob Blake to announce retirement, reports CSN. Sad face. [CSN]

Picture of the Day: Chris Pronger in a Skirt

2010-06-08T11:55:00.000-07:00

There's a picture in today's Chicago Tribune of Philadelphia Flyers defenceman Chris Pronger in a skirt, along with a few select zingers.

"Chrissy Pronger"..."Looks like Tarzan, skates like Jane"...oh goodness. As Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory would say, "Bazinga!"

Next up, Patrick Kane with hair extensions.

[Photo: Chicago Tribune, or Elliot Friedman's Twitter]

Picture of the Day: Justin Bieber Touches Stanley Cup, Enrages Hockey Gods

2010-06-04T12:43:00.000-07:00

The Stanley Cup got boy-handled this morning on The Today Show. Don't tell me you aren't a little disturbed right now.

[Picture: Just Jared Jr]

CBC's Ron MacLean Jumps into River to Save Suicidal Man

2010-06-03T13:53:00.000-07:00

Jeff Marek posted this on Twitter about 20 minutes ago. If this is true (why would he make something like this up?), holy crap. If it turns out to not be true, I'll let you guys know A.S.A.P.

Apparently, Ron MacLean is half Bettman slayer, half Superman. And you thought Brooks Laich was a hero.

Update: Gordon McIntyre from The Province newspaper confirms that the reports are true. MacLean was part of a tag team that rescued the man from the Delaware River. "That's how Ron spent the afternoon on his day off," said Ron's wife, Cari MacLean.

And again: Jeff Marek has a few more updates up on Twitter.

"World's Most Awkward Sports Reporter," or Boom Goes the Dynamite II

2010-05-30T16:39:00.000-07:00

Is this Boom Goes the Dynamite Part II?

The man is Charles Clinton, the video is entitled "World's Most Awkward Sports Reporter," and the catchphrase is "Back to you, GUYS."

It's awesome, just like a train wreck, check it out.

My favourite quote: "and he made a nice hipcheck earlier...and...got a penalty for it...uh, so far that's all he's been doing today."

BACK TO YOU, GUYS!

IT'S MY 2010 STANLEY CUP PREDICTION, BITCHES

2010-05-26T01:31:00.000-07:00

Last Round just called to demand that I stop trying to be so darn original and start conforming with the consensus pick (which is no fun at all, but Last Round was really angry, so...)

For what it's worth, here's my vanilla pick of the playoffs.

Does anyone think that this is the most epic match-up ever? I'm not talking about the hockey teams: I'm talking about the hockey fans. Philly fans are ridiculous. They intentionally vomit on other fans. They are some of the most in-your-face, disgusting, idiotic, flat-out crazy albeit wildly entertaining group of weirdos you will ever come across. Did I mention that one of them intentionally vomited on an 11-year-old girl? I mean, COME ON.

Chicago's fan base is a bit more "tame," but they mess with you psychologically. I remember one game between the Hawks and the Vancouver Canucks at the United Center. The Canucks were getting shellacked. The score was something bloated and ridiculous. And every time Luongo would let in a goal, the Hawks faithful would serenade him in "Luuuuuuuus," which is customary of Canucks fans whenever Luongo makes a save. Chicago violated sacred territory. It's the same with Philadelphia fans: they touched Montreal's hallmark "Ole Ole" song, which was just...well...wrong. It sounded icky. But Philly fans don't care.

Here are a couple more amusing Philly and Chicago fan links:

Jim Rome's take on "The Philly Fan," here. Rome is one of my favourite radio personalities ever, and his take is no less brilliant.
A female Philadelphia Flyers fan dropped an f-bomb on live television a couple days ago. Let's just say it's...fucking amazing. Find it here.
A Vancouverite wearing a Canucks jersey walked around the upper concourse between innings at a Chicago Cubs game, and got a solid ribbing from the fans, found here.
Here's an assumption if you've ever seen one: this year, the city of Chicago decided to paint a humongous homage to Jonathan Toews and the Stanley Cup he has yet to win. They later took it down, probably out of shame. Find it here.

Oh yeah, a prediction.

So as you may know, I failed miserably in my last two rounds of predictions. The process of watching my picks go spiralling out of control kind of made me want to pry my eyes out with a spatula. So here's my pick outright, no bells and whistles:

Chicago in 6. I guarantee you that this is right (no I don't).

My reasoning in a nutshell: you've probably heard by now how evenly matched these teams are in terms of skill, grit, determination, special teams, defence - even their captains are similar. So here's the X-factor: speed, and lots of it. An older and slower Philadelphia defence won't be able to handle the likes of Patrick Kane, Jonathan Toews, and Patrick Sharp, not to mention the smooth skating, play making abilities of Duncan Keith. Chicago is a deeper team than Philadelphia, and when they come at you in waves, it can be overwhelming.

Here's another X-factor (or a duh factor, depending on how you look at it): goaltending. Antti Niemi stole at least two games for the Blackhawks in their sweep of San Jose and has played well all playoffs long. He's also shown terrific poise whenever he's had a rusty outing, although those have been few and far between. The Flyers' Michael Leighton has yet to face any major obstacles (all he's been doing is winning), but he'll encounter a larger amount of shots versus a high-flying Blackhawks squad. And the Flyers fate will depend on how well he handles it.

I just don't know what I'll do if this is wrong. Probably round up a bunch of chocolate bars and go into hiding. Mike Halford of The Kurtenblog has done even worse than I have in the last two rounds and he's gone a bit off the cliff, started blaming his childhood, etc...

The culprit who threw up all over an 11-year-old girl. With a face only a mother could love. And even then, only if she were short-sighted.

Picture of the Day: Sergei Gonchar Forgets His Pants

2010-05-25T12:04:00.001-07:00

Look closely...very closely. But not too closely. Sergei Gonchar has no pants on. Those Russians are some kind of crazy.

[Photo: P.S.A.M.P]

The Sedin Twins on The Hour

2010-05-24T20:52:00.000-07:00

Here's the Sedin twins on The Hour with George Stroumboulopoulos. Pretty cute interview. Look, they match! I wonder if they called each other the night before to plan their outfits.

Updates have been a bit slow lately, sorry about that! I've been busy with summer school, which takes up a lot of my time. Hopefully I can pound out a prediction for the Cup final, probably around Friday/Saturday. Because, you know, my predictions have been going so well. /nawt

[Photo: Vancouver Sun]

Brendan Shanahan taunts a female fan

2010-05-17T00:17:00.001-07:00

Brendan Shanahan just tweeted this a couple hours ago, but here it is again in case you missed it. Absolutely hilarious.

Shanny followed up his tweet by saying, "I believe the only thing I said to her was, 'that's not nice.'" I think you said a lot more than that, Brendan.

At first I thought there was no way in hell that that fan was female, but they showed her a second time...and then I realized. Blerg.

Playoff Prediction: Montreal Canadiens vs. Philadelphia Flyers

2010-05-15T19:35:00.002-07:00

Eastern Conference

Montreal vs. Philadelphia: Analysts have attempted to try the ol' method of comparing each of these teams' goalies, defence, and offence, and then coming to a conclusion through that criteria, but really, how effectively did that system work in the first two rounds? The Montreal Canadiens and the Philadelphia Flyers have been two of the most unpredictable playoff teams in NHL history. They are the only 8th and 7th seed respectively to make it into any Conference Final, East or West, and while Montreal took out the Washington Capitals and defending champs Pittsburgh Penguins, Philadelphia made history by being only the fourth team in professional sports to come back from a 0-3 series deficit. So really, my question is, can you predict this series by its tangibles, or will the intangible qualities ultimately be the deciding factor?

Here's one quote from a Boston article after the Bruins blew the series vs. the Flyers:

"When you're lacking in character, you give up 3-0 series leads and 3-0 Game 7 advantages."

Character. Something that the Habs and Flyers have shown plenty of. Something that many upstart Cinderella teams who make unexpectedly long playoff runs usually exhibit, a will to win when everyone else in the world has counted them out. So let's make the routine comparisons of goalie versus goalie, "D" v. "D", guns versus bigger guns, because those things are still important, but keep in mind that some series are not decided by who has more talent, but who has more heart.

Philadelphia has dug pretty deeply into their goalie reserve; Michael Leighton is their 24th string goaltender right now...correct me if I'm wrong. I don't need to elaborate more than to say the Habs have Jaroslav Halak, and that should end the goalie "debate", as if there really were one. Pshhaa.

I think there's no argument on whose defensive corps has been more effective during these playoffs. Montreal, led by Hall Gill, Josh Gorges and the surprise PK Subban, shut down the three best players in the League, Ovechkin, Crosby, and Malkin. Philadelphia has had to stare down far less challenging opponents: both the New Jersey Devils and the Boston Bruins struggled mightily to produce any semblance of offence. Mano-a-mano, Philly has horses like Chris Pronger and Kimmo Timonen that are arguably better than any of the Habs top defencemen. But as this is not a game of individuals, I think Montreal has the defensive edge. They have shown how exasperatingly and collectively they can shut it down against any top line, superstars or no.

Mike Cammalleri is the main star of the Habs, and perhaps Brian Gionta in a supporting role, but other than those two, Montreal's offence looks thin compared to Philadelphia's relatively consistent all-around scoring from the likes of Simon Gagne, Danny Briere, and Claude Giroux.

So. The final tally. The boys over at TSN unanimously picked Philadelphia to advance, which surprised me a bit, because I think Montreal has earned a little credit. I mulled over this decision for a good day and a half, and I'm going to go with Montreal, but the way these playoffs have been going, I could go 0-2 and have to play the sad trombone all over again. Sighduck. Montreal in 7.

[Photo: Jim McIsaac/Getty Images]

Playoff Prediction: San Jose Sharks vs. Chicago Blackhawks

2010-05-15T19:35:00.001-07:00

Western Conference

San Jose vs. Chicago: What a funny disparity in seed ranking between the Eastern and Western Conference match-ups. If we compare goaltending, defence and offence, I feel like this series is the most evenly matched of the two, and games will likely be decided by other determining factors like special teams, toughness, grit, and lucky breaks (don't do anything dumb Dan Boyle).

I think you'd have to give the goaltending match-up to Evgeni Nabokov over Antti Niemi, although these two come in with pretty similar statistics. Nabby has a GAA of 2.43 and a SV% of .907, while Niemi has a GAA 2.57 of and a SV% of .909. I give the edge to Nabokov because of the "experience" factor, but as these playoffs have shown, "experience" does not necessary equal wins.

The Sharks mainly generate offence from their top two lines, whereas on good nights Chicago can receive goals from up and down their line-up. Besides this, both teams match-up pretty evenly. Both can strike quickly and often, and both have players on the blueline that can rip it home. Obviously the Sharks' two biggest lines, led by Joe Thronton and Joe Pavelski, will have to continue to light the lamp, while Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews will be counted on to carry the brunt of the Hawks offence. P.S. where is Marian Hossa? Only two goals in 12 games. We know you want that Cup Marian, work for it boy!

Maybe I'm just more familiar with the Chicago defence, but I think they're slightly deeper and more dependable. When Duncan Keith and Brent Seabrook are gelling, they're one of the best defensive tandems in the NHL. Brent Sopel, Niklas Hjalmarsson, and Brian Campbell nicely round out the rest of the Blackhawk "D". Rob Blake and Dan Boyle are San Jose's two titans on the back-end, but besides those two and the quietly reliable Douglas Murray, they don't have much else.

After picking against the Sharks in the first two rounds, I've seen enough of them to convince me that this team is for real. They say that you have to lose a round or two before you win it all, and the Sharks have lost plenty of rounds, ho yes. So it's their time. Since the teams match up fairly evenly across the board, I think the X-factor will be goaltending, as it so often is in the playoffs. Niemi hasn't had to steal a game so far - the Nashville Predators didn't pose much of an offensive threat, and the Vancouver Canucks only a little more so - but against the Sharks I think he'll have a difficult time juggling the two Joes while also keeping an eye on Dany Heatley and Patrick Marleau. I think this is the last year for this San Jose group to prove they can win, otherwise GM Doug Wilson may just have a nervous breakdown and trade away all his stars for like...Mason Raymond and a fourth round pick. San Jose in 7.

P.S. I've been going through some of the predictions around the Web and NO ONE is picking the Sharks, which makes me a little nervous, but I'm stickin' to it. Werd to yer mamma.

[Photo: Life]

Picture of the Day: Referees are PMSing

2010-05-15T18:34:00.001-07:00

"Are You Pregnant Ref? Because You Missed 2 Periods" -

The best hockey sign since the Canadian trifecta of Sidney Crosby marriage proposals from the blonde girl in Calgary and the men in Edmonton and Vancouver. This one goes up in the Fan Sign Hall o' Fame.

Georges Laraque in the Commercial of the Century

2010-05-13T00:21:00.000-07:00

So...the new Georges Laraque commercial. Only the best thing I have ever seen in life.

I have no idea what TekSavvy is, nor did I really find out by watching the following clip, but I commend the company for making the best commercial in like, ever. Georges Laraque is a hero.

Picture of the Day: Alain Vigneault is Ashamed

2010-05-12T18:18:00.000-07:00

Play the sad trombone music while looking at this picture. It makes the heartbreak seem...a little better.

Review of 2nd Round Predictions

2010-05-12T11:42:00.000-07:00

The full predictions from last time are a bit too long to repost, so I'm just going to extract the important parts for this 2nd round playoff prediction review.

1. Pittsburgh vs. Montreal: Halak will once again have to play like he's possessed if Montreal is to squeak out the series. Otherwise, Pittsburgh will grind down an already worn Habs team through their hard work (ha), superstar talent, and second and third line contributions. I'll give Montreal two wins, just because the last time people didn't take them seriously...well...look what happened. Pittsburgh in 6.

The Montreal Canadiens' magical run continues. Game 7 started badly for the Pittsburgh Penguins and didn't get much better. The Penguins looked like a tired and worn-down group, as if the last 24 months of non-stop hockey might have finally caught up to them. Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin received the Ovechkin treatment and were completely shut down by a committed Habs "D"; Marc-Andre Fleury looked shaky at the best of times, and downright terrible at the worst. Montreal wins in 7.

2. Boston vs. Philadelphia: Injuries will be a factor: Philly's key contributors Simon Gagne and Jeff Carter are still on the injury list, while Marc Savard makes his triumphant return to the Boston lineup after taking a brutal blind-side hit from Matt Cooke on March 7th. This is going to be a tough, tough series. Look for Milan Lucic and the entire Flyers team to fight each other at least twice. Boston must get to Boucher early. If they can produce as much offence as they did in round 1, and have Tuukka Rask continue to play sublimely, then they should be able to handle Philly. Boston in 6.

The Boston Bruins decided that making their fans suffer through a blown 3-0 series lead was not quite enough, so they subjected the Bruins faithful to further torture by squandering a 3-0 game 7 lead as well, making history in the process. Game 7 for the Bruins was a microcosm of their entire series - in the beginning, they received timely offence from their role players, but in the end, they failed to finish off a desperate Philly team who was down-and-out. Simon Gagne, who scored the OT winner in game 4 to keep the Flyers alive, notched a resounding series winner with 7:48 left to go in the 3rd period of game 7, crushing the hearts of Bruins fans everywhere and totally messing up my 2nd round prediction count. Philadelphia wins in 7.

3. Detroit vs. San Jose: the Sharks will get blown out of the water if they continue to rely on secondary scoring from Joe Pavelski and get as little production as they did from Heatley, Thornton, and Marleau against Colorado. Detroit displayed their veteran resiliency and skill last round, and I think they're going to be able to maintain that same heart and ability to perform in big moments. The simple fact is, Detroit's superstars can show up while San Jose's can't. Nevertheless, it's going to be close. Detroit in 7.

So...I was a little off on this one *cough*. San Jose's superstars finally decided to appear, and not just appear halfheartedly but with energetic, committed play. All of Joe Thornton's annual no-show playoff performances were (just about) forgotten with his series winning goal in game 5. Pavelski-itis must be contagious. The Red Wings seemed tired, like a team who had made one long playoff run too many. Time for some well-deserved rest. San Jose wins in 5.

4. Vancouver vs. Chicago: Sorry Van fans, this is going to be a close one, but the Hawks play Vancouver as well as anyone in the League. Chicago's quick and skilled young forwards will ultimately get the better of a shaky Vancouver defense. Keys to Vancouver eking this one out: (1) Luongo outduels Niemi to the point of total pwnage, and (2) the Canucks continue to get consistent all-around scoring from three lines. The defence you can't do anything about. I want to be proven wrong on this one, but: Chicago in 6.

As Roberto Luongo goes, so too do the Canucks, and his moments of mediocrity far outweighed his moments of brilliance. The Chicago Blackhawks were better in almost every facet of the game. Their forecheck was relentless and Jonathan Toews was uncontainable. They were patient when they had to be. Antti Niemi didn't have to be spectacular, just solid. Thus ends another chapter in the Vancouver Canucks' underachieving and unremarkable history. Chicago wins in 6.

In other news, a fan tries to sell the "sulking, belligerent, and grossly over-rated" Roberto Luongo on craigslist.com. For how much? That depends. Can you outbid payments of $64 million over 12 years?

So I went a stellar 1/4 this round. I take solace in the fact that Bob McKenzie went 0-4. Now we're getting down to the nitty gritty. Can Montreal keep their miracle season alive? Can San Jose finally redeem themselves after years of underachievement? Will we get to see more of Patrick Kane's mullet? And will we ever, ever see a second round playoffs like we just have?

Picture of the Day: Nicklas Backstrom Loves To Wear This Shirt

2010-05-04T19:32:00.000-07:00

The shirt reads "Your Girlfriend Loves To Wear My Hockey Jersey" - need I say more?

[Photo courtesy of Puck Daddy]

Playoff Beard Report Card: Mason Raymond

2010-05-01T21:23:00.000-07:00

[Here's the segment where I critique various playoff beards from around the NHL in a very serious manner. Since I am a beard aficionado and frequent grower of beards, it seems only natural that I should share my expertise with all of you. Use this beard guide, The Trustworthiness of Beards, that is labeled on a spectrum of Very Trustworthy to Disastrous, to help you out.]

Student: Mason Raymond; left winger of the Vancouver Canucks, as of May 1st, 2010

First off, we all know that Mason Raymond is actually 12-years-old. So in reality, the beard that he's sporting is quite impressive for a prepubescent boy. As he is in the NHL, however, I have to judge him by NHL standards.

Playoff Beard Report Card

Effort: C. Mason can't even muster enough hair growth on his chinny chin chin, which means that the effort he puts into grooming and taming is...well...minimal. Sorry Ray-Ray, life isn't fair.

Attitude of beard: WB, which stands for Wannabe-Gangsta. Mason looks like one of those young, ambitious, but slightly oblivious secondary characters in The Sopranos who gets pushed around by all the gun-toting head honchos. I can see his nickname now: Baby Blue. Say it with a New Jersey accent. Oo, yeah.

Laughability: B+. I have to admit, I legit lol'd at the television while watching his interview yesterday night. But it was more of a bark kind of laugh, a loud, immediate outburst that I hastily stuffed back in because I felt guilty. And then I laughed some more.

Potential for future beard growth: A. See those curly, cupid locks? Those big, bushy eyebrows? Mason has in him the gene of thick, fertile hair. His father and mother have sewn the seeds of possibility. Now, Mason needs to harvest this potential, and in five years, he could very well sport a beard of Trustworthy standards.

Overall, Mason's grades qualify for a spot in the Patchy Beard a.k.a. The Sidney Crosby category. See the guide for more details. Nice try Mason. Better luck next year; puberty can do wonders to the body.

[Image courtesy of NHL]

Marc Savard is the Hero You Can't Help But Love

2010-05-01T14:12:00.000-07:00

You couldn't have scripted a better ending.

Marc Savard's overtime goal against the Philadelphia Flyers contained all the magic and excitement of a childhood fairy tale. And you could read the entire story on the face of the OT hero.

Savard is the new feel-good story of the NHL playoffs. After taking a devastating blind-side hit from Matt Cooke on March 7th, many thought the season of the Bruins centre would be over. His career was put in jeopardy. His concussion and Cooke's hit sparked a heated head shot debate that would run for months, igniting a media firestorm and eventually causing the NHL's Board of Governors to implement a new hits to the head rule halfway through the regular season.

Meanwhile, Savard persevered through two months of painful recovery in order to make his triumphant return to hockey this Saturday afternoon. The game was exciting from start to finish, and Savard's visible effort to lay everything he had on the ice, albeit with limited ice time, upped his likeability quotient tenfold. You've got to love his heart, his enthusiasm, his will to win, and most importantly, that crazed Shane Doan face he made after he scored the winner. I think a lot of us want to see an Eastern Conference Final with the Pittsburgh Penguins vs. the Boston Bruins, Cooke vs. Savard, heroes vs. villains, etc., because it wouldn't be just awesome, it would be Disney movie awesome. Fingers crossed.

[Image courtesy of upi.com]

One-liner Playoff Predictions - 2nd Round

2010-04-28T14:06:00.001-07:00

Well...as close to one line as I can get. I don't want to make these sentences absolutely ridiculous by inserting 10 semi-colons for the sake of maintaining the whole "one-line" thing. God. This pressure is getting to me. I'm going to call these "one-paragraph playoff predictions" instead.

Eastern Conference

Pittsburgh vs. Montreal: This is Montreal's gift for taking down the Capitals, the League's top regular season juggernaut and President's Trophy winner. I think I heard a TSN analyst (maybe Dreger) say that Pittsburgh will be a tougher test for Halak because they "work harder [than Washington]." Ouch. Tell that to a sweaty Ovechkin. Anyway, Halak will once again have to play like he's possessed if Montreal is to squeak out the series. Otherwise, Pittsburgh will grind down an already worn Habs team through their hard work (ha), superstar talent, and second and third line contributions. I'll give Montreal two wins, just because the last time people didn't take them seriously...well...look what happened. Pittsburgh in 6.

Philadelphia vs. Boston: Zzzzz. No, I kid, I kid. Do we have another match-up of hot goaltenders? Brian Boucher is no Jaroslav Halak, but he played magical for the Flyers in their first-round upset of New Jersey. Injuries will be a factor: Philly's key contributors Simon Gagne and Jeff Carter are still on the injury list, while Marc Savard makes his triumphant return to the Boston lineup after taking a brutal blind-side hit from Matt Cooke on March 7th. This is going to be a tough, tough series. Look for Milan Lucic and the entire Flyers team to fight each other at least twice. Boston must get to Boucher early. If they can produce as much offence as they did in round 1, and have Tuukka Rask continue to play sublimely, then they should be able to handle Philly. Boston in 6.

Western Conference

San Jose vs. Detroit: Woo, what a match-up! A year ago this would have been considered a clash of the titans, and even now with Detroit having fallen slightly from grace, people are still looking at this second-rounder and thinking, "ho shit." Let's get one thing straight: the Sharks will get blown out of the water if they continue to rely on secondary scoring from Joe Pavelski and get as little production as they did from Heatley, Thornton, and Marleau against Colorado. What they produced is simply - all together now - not good enough. Detroit displayed their veteran resiliency and skill last round, and I think they're going to be able to maintain that same heart and ability to perform in big moments. The simple fact is, Detroit's superstars can show up while San Jose's can't. Nevertheless, it's going to be close. Detroit in 7.

Chicago vs. Vancouver: It's a meeting of old enemies in the other Western Conference semi-final, and this one could be a doozy. Shaping up to be one of the best new rivalries in the NHL, this match-up hosts a number of villainous creatures like Dustin Byfuglien, Ryan Kesler, and Alex Burrows, as well as the dreaded Marian Hossa curse that hangs heavily over all (or just over the Hawks, whatever). Sorry Van fans, this is going to be a close one, but the Hawks play Vancouver as well as anyone in the League. Chicago's quick and skilled young forwards will ultimately get the better of a shaky Vancouver defense. Keys to Vancouver eking this one out: (1) Luongo outduels Niemi to the point of total pwnage, and (2) the Canucks continue to get consistent all-around scoring from three lines. The defence you can't do anything about. I want to be proven wrong on this one, but: Chicago in 6.

Also, here's an awesome video of players from the Canucks reacting to the Blackhawks' slightly-catchy-in-that-annoying-way goal song, "Chelsea Dagger".

I feel like I could go 4-0 or 0-4 in this round; there are a LOT of tight match-ups, and in three out of four series, there are no clear winners. Let the games begin!

Review of 1st Round Predictions

2010-04-26T11:32:00.000-07:00

Before I get into predictions for round deux, I'm going to do a little backtracking and see where I went wrong, and also where I went...oh so right...in round 1.

1. Washington vs. Montreal: Although Nicklas Backstrom is apparently injured, Washington will roll Montreal because they can beat the Habs at their own special teams game: offence, offence, and more offence. If Montreal is to have any chance at all, Halak will have to stand on his head. Washington in 5.

Halak stood on his head. End of story. Did anyone see this coming? Nope. Absolutely incredible. Montreal wins in 7.

2. New Jersey vs. Philadelphia: With Philly just sqeaking into the playoffs, I predict a more veteran group of Jersey players will eventually prevail against a beat up Flyers squad - Kovalchuk will be a gamebreaker. Jersey in 6.

Well...so much for this one. Even though Brodeur at times played b-a-n-a-n-a-s, and at other times played like he had 40/20 vision, Jersey could not muster enough offence to back him up, and Philly got big goals from unlikely sources. Philadelphia wins in 5.

3. Buffalo vs. Boston: I smell an upset in this one; it's going to be a battle of the goaltenders Miller and Rask, and if Boston plays their ultraconservative style, I think they can squeak out one more win than Buffalo. Boston in 7.

Good call, me. Rask outdueled Miller and Boston produced a surprising amount of offence while keeping it relatively tight defensively. Boston wins in 6.

4. Pittsburgh vs. Ottawa: Pittsburgh will win because Sidney Crosby's got his groove on, and Evgeni Malkin is ramping it up again: beware the two-headed beast. Pittsburgh in 6.

Crosby indeed maintained his groove and a little more, and Malkin was good enough to qualify as the lesser head in the Hydra-lic Pittsburgh beast. Pittsburgh wins in 6.

5. San Jose vs. Colorado: Because I think it's fairly funny, I'm going to choose Colorado over San Jose, because until San Jose proves that they're capable of any kind of post-season success, they ain't getting none of this love. Colorado in 7.

This was awfully close: 3/6 games were decided in OT. Game 4 for the Avs was the pivotal one where they could have stolen a 3-1 series lead, yet it was the Sharks' less renowned Joe - Joe Pavelski - who stepped up to play Mr. Clutch while "No Show Joe" loitered quietly in the background. Nothing new. San Jose wins in 6.

6. Chicago vs. Nashville: Chicago will win because they want it more, and they've got the young talent and the drive to do it, but Nashville will be tough competition, simply because of the way they've been playing their game for years. Chicago in 6.

Chicago won what I thought was one of the more lackluster series in the playoffs, excluding game 5, which heart-pounding exciting. Nashville played their usual suffocating style and at times looked like they were going to rope-a-dope Chicago till death, until Toews, Kane, and...Hossa? stepped it up. Chicago wins in 6.

7. Vancouver vs. Los Angeles: I love Los Angeles, and I especially love Drew Doughty, but as long as Vancouver's defence doesn't deteriorate completely, I believe Vancouver's group is as cohesive as it's been in years. Vancouver in 6.

Poor Drew Doughty ended up -2 in the final game of the series, although he was arguably the Kings' best player overall. Funnily enough, when I said "as long as Vancouver's defence doesn't deteriorate completely," I was referring to their even-strength play, but it was their horrendous PK that just about unraveled their season. Luckily, Vancouver's big guns came to the rescue. Zing, Mikael Samuelsson! Vancouver wins in 6.

8. Phoneix vs. Detroit: I just love the way Detroit is playing right now; they've been in playoff mode for months, and they're healthy - Phoneix has a chance if Bryzgalov plays out of his mind. Detroit in 6.

Bryzgalov played bonkers for the 'Yotes in game 6, and looked like he might steal another one early on in game 7, but ultimately the poise and experience of the Wings took over and sent the Coyotes home howling. Last time we'll see hockey in Phoneix? Probably. Thank God. Detroit wins in 7.

So overall, I went 5/8. Montreal's upset over Washington was the big one that probably screwed over 95% of peoples' playoff brackets. What an amaaazing first round!